400 | Celebrating 400 Episodes, Looking Back at God's Faithfulness, and the DADAWESOME Book Preview (Jeff Zaugg)

Experiencing God's LoveAdventure & Creating Memorable Moments
Written By Jeff Zaugg

Episode Description

Seven and a half years ago, a simple question on a cousin's patio changed everything: "How do you stay intentional as a dad?" That moment sparked what became 400 podcast conversations, over 1,000 men mobilized in activation events, and a million dollars raised for ministries serving the fatherless. In this milestone episode, Jeff celebrates by looking back at God's faithfulness, sharing the first-ever preview of the upcoming DADAWESOME book, and highlighting transformational moments from 15 unforgettable conversations that shaped this movement.

  • Jeff Zaugg is the founder of DadAwesome and host of over 400 podcast episodes, helping fathers across the country discover the joy of fatherhood. He works with dads through speaking, coaching, and activation experiences like 100-mile bike rides that have raised over $1 million for the fatherless. Jeff is passionate about helping fathers lead with wonder and showing up fully present for their families. When he's not empowering dads, you'll find him surfing with his four daughters or building epic backyard rope swings.

    • Milestone moments matter - Pausing to celebrate and shine the spotlight on what God has done builds faith for the journey ahead

    • Small yeses create waves - Dad Awesome wasn't built on one grand gesture but hundreds of small commitments to growth over eight years

    • Intentionality transforms everything - Just like discovering great coffee, small shifts in daily rhythms can revolutionize your entire approach to fatherhood

    • Stories cascade through generations - When dads point to God's goodness consistently, children naturally learn to do the same with their own kids

    • Community accelerates growth - The DA plus three model shows that fatherhood gets exponentially better when you're not doing it alone

    • Generosity reveals faith - Taking steps forward in generosity, whether with time, words, or resources, grows our trust in God's faithfulness

  • Today we're celebrating a milestone. There's these moment markers, right? These milestones in our families, in our marriages. There's these moments where why would we not pause, look back, pause, look forward, pause and shine a spotlight on look what God has done. And we're doing that today. So episode 400, welcome you guys.

    My four daughters, my wife and I, we're throwing confetti. So this has been kind of in the culture, kind of in the what makes dad awesome, dad awesome. We have thrown a lot of confetti over the last seven and a half years. And today, episode 400, more confetti is being thrown. Our girls, they love to rip up paper. They'll grab like a bowl from the kitchen and just start filling up with pieces of paper. And my four year old calls it confetta. Confetta, confetta is so.

    Yes, please celebrate, throw some confetti. That would be amazing. But more than anything, I want to say thank you. Thank you for being a dad who has chosen to turn your heart to your kids, who has chosen to turn your attention to learning, growing, being dad awesome. That's our heartbeat. We believe that when dads step into being awesome dads, that it changes generations to come.

    great, great, great grandkids that will never know. An awesome dad experiences the love of God in heaven, our heavenly father. They are hungry for more of his wisdom, more of his love, more connectedness to God, and they bring that love to their kids. And I celebrate you guys today. Let's jump in our Bible, Psalm 78 verse four. This was early, early on in the Dad Awesome journey. These words propelled us forward. We will not hide these truths from our children.

    we will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord, about His power and His mighty wonders. So I celebrate you guys listening today and being those dads who do just like I'm gonna do today. You shine the spotlight of your attention. You tell with your words. You share with your kids, look at the glorious deeds of the Lord. Look what God has done. Look at how He provided. Look at this, look at that. We try to do this daily at bedtime with my girls.

    Jeff Zaugg (02:55.16)

    Where did you see God today? What are you thankful for today? And then we take the thankfulness things into God did that. Look what God did. Look at God's good gifts. We can do it daily on a micro level. We can also do it on a 400 weeks, 400 podcast episode level. So I cheer you guys on. I'm gonna give you one more Bible verse here. Joel 1 verse 3 shares the cascading effect. It says, tell it to your children and let your children tell it to their children and their children to the next generation. There is a cascading effect.

    We've had a ton of rain here in Northeast Florida recently. It's wild. Everywhere you look, you see standing water right now. It's just like the ground cannot handle all the water. you dads, if we point to look what God has done, and we continually do that over and over, it's gonna be impossible for our children not to do that to their own children. Cause they've seen a dad who over and over used his spotlight and shined it on. Look at what God has done. Look what he's done. So today we're gonna do that. We're gonna do that episode 400.

    I'm going to shine the light on, look where God is leading us. We're have a look forward and I'm gonna use about 15 of the conversations. 15, it was hard. I actually rallied several of my friends to say, help me, 400 episodes, which ones really brought a punch that changed you as a dad? I'm gonna share these little one minute clips, one and a half minute, maybe some of our two minutes long. And we're gonna just point back to these are some of the moments that have made and have guided and.

    held us in the direction of what Dad Awesome has become today. And the wisdom shared, all of the dads who have said yes to being a guest on Dad Awesome, I celebrate and just give thanks for the wisdom given because it's it's cascading forward today as we're re-listening to some of these moments of what they shared. So before though, before we go into looking back, I just wanna share for a moment, this is what's coming and part of what's coming. So we're gonna continue activating dads to lead with wonder. We're gonna continue.

    in the awareness category of the podcast and other resources, just like this gentle nudge of you can step into being dad awesome with resources that are awareness level. The second thing that we've done is it's called activation. We mobilized over a thousand men to these activation events, these hundred mile bike rides, these triathlons, these Spartan obstacle course races. We've seen that when men do something hard as a team for a mission that's at the center of God's heart, it changes all of us. We're all impacted and

    Jeff Zaugg (05:19.694)

    We had the joy of raising a million dollars for our partners who directly serve the fatherless. So that's, we continue to celebrate. That was about a year ago. We celebrated that milestone. Activation events are coming back in 2026. So we've taken 2025 was the seventh year, our rest year for activation events. It's coming back, season two, the next campaign. So more coming on that, but quick save the dates. Anyone who wants to fly in or if you're from Northeast Florida, the 28th of February is a Saturday.

    and Spartan has their event in Jacksonville, Florida. So we will be rallying about 50 men to, that's our first kind of kickoff activation event. So save the date, the last Saturday of February, we're gonna be in Jacksonville, Florida for our first Dad Awesome activation event of this next campaign. Okay, also Dad Awesome, we've been a part of deeper acceleration work. This is the deeper discipleship. This is our coaching cohorts. This is...

    the resourcing, sending. We love sending dads to other partner ministries that are doing the deeper work. We're always recommending books. We believe that a dad, it's not just awareness. It's not just activation, the deeper acceleration, the deeper discipleship, like what does God want to transform in you? And that's always done through brotherhood. So that's just quickly to kind of point back to the model, the method, like this is what God has pulled us into as far as how we activate dads to lead with wonder. But I want to just share

    There is an upcoming resource that will be touching most areas of our ministry because it's a collection of the core discoveries from 400 podcast conversations. And this resource is the upcoming book. The Dad Awesome book is a collection of the core discoveries. And I thought for episode 400, it would be fun to share some of the book with you guys, the first ever release of the audible, the narrated version. I'm going to read.

    just the first little section, the first preface and introduction. And I'm thrilled to read this, to share this. So let me share this, because it is a celebration moment to share this. And it does kind of encompass a little of where we're going and where we've been. So it is shining in the spotlight and look at what God did. Let me read this and then we'll jump into a look back and saying, look what God has done. So here is the dad awesome book.

    Jeff Zaugg (07:42.894)

    Preface. The house was silent. Everyone was sleeping, my wife, our daughters, and our generous relatives who had opened their Arizona home to us. Outside, the first hints of sunrise painted the desert sky, but inside my heart, something had shifted and wouldn't settle. I sat alone in the living room while a question from the previous night echoed through my thoughts. How do you stay intentional as a dad? It was just a casual question asked by my cousin on his patio.

    It wasn't meant for much more than small talk, the kind of question that usually prompts a thoughtful nod and a brief answer and then fades away. But not this one. The question grabbed my heart. And as I sat there in the quiet morning hours, I realized why. I had no real answer. The realization gripped me. I wasn't growing as a dad. I loved my daughters fiercely, yes, but intentional? Leaning in with my whole heart?

    purposeful in developing the skills needed for this calling? In other areas of my life, I was reading books, attending conferences, listening to podcasts, seeking mentoring, but not in my role as a dad. So I did what I often do when processing something important. I opened a note on my phone and began typing. What would it look like to be truly focused on learning and growing as a father?

    I started cataloging resources, Christian dad blogs, podcasts, books, conferences. I listed areas where I needed growth and mentorship. With each tap of my fingers, something was awakening inside me, not just a plan, but a calling. You see, I often learn best by leading. When something grips my heart, the most natural path isn't just personal growth, it's inviting others to join the journey.

    So as I sat there building my list, I began to envision what a strategic fatherhood ministry might look like. I sent an email to about 20 friends asking if they'd be interested in a 10-week experiment around intentional fatherhood. No big promises, just an invitation to grow together. I recorded my first episode from the base of a snowy sledding hill. After some quick editing, I practically bounced into the living room to show my wife, expecting immediate praise.

    Jeff Zaugg (09:59.104)

    Instead, she gave something better, honest feedback. I love your heart for this, she said, but let's make it even more helpful for dads. Her suggestions included changing the name from Dad Ventures to Dad Awesome. I went back to the drawing board and in January 2018, the newly named Dad Awesome podcast launched with episode one. That initial question led to action.

    My personal action led to collective action as I invited other dads to grow alongside me. The very first episode was titled, We Trust God, emphasizing the importance of trust, teaching our children that we have a God in heaven who is trustworthy. Side note, trust falls are an amazing teaching tool for little kids. Give it a shot. What began as a 10 week experiment quickly evolved. When those weeks ended, the dads wanted more.

    What's next? They asked. That question launched the Dad Awesome podcast. I started reaching out to dads and grandpas I respected, then gradually expanded to include counselors, pastors, and authors who had wisdom to share. Dad Awesome wasn't built on one grand gesture, but on hundreds of small yeses over the past eight years. Men saying yes to learning and growing as dads. Yes to 100 mile bike rides and dad challenges.

    Yes to triathlons and small group studies. Yes to campfire meetups where conversations turned vulnerable and obstacle course races where we cheered each other on. Each small yes created a ripple that joined with others forming a wave of fatherhood transformation. This consistent commitment, this pattern of showing up week after week transformed a focused experiment into a movement.

    The journey took us across the country for over 550 nights in an RV as a family, led to more than 400 podcast conversations with remarkable dads, and brought together over a thousand men in Dad Awesome activation events, raising funds for our partner ministries. But the most significant transformation has happened in my own heart and home. The more I've invested in learning about fatherhood, the more I've grown to love being a dad.

    Jeff Zaugg (12:17.708)

    It's a beautiful cycle of growth that enriches everyone, especially my four daughters. The same can happen for all of us and all our children, starting with a single yes. What you're about to discover in these pages can be your next step in turning your heart towards your kids. And I'm praying the first part of Malachi chapter four, verse six, over you and your family. And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children.

    and the hearts of children to their fathers. I never expected to live for two and a half years in an RV and never imagined interviewing hundreds of dads or being part of a community where so many fathers have found new purpose in their role. I simply stayed awake to a question that wouldn't let me go. Sometimes the most profound journeys begin with the simplest questions. That's why I wanna ask you the same thing. How do you stay intentional as a dad?

    In the pages ahead, you'll discover how to explore that question alongside other fathers who are on the same journey. Together, we'll uncover how God wants to shape your unique approach to building a legacy that will echo positively through generations. This Dad Awesome journey has been filled with discoveries and a clear framework has emerged, six essential elements that can transform ordinary dads into men who lead their families with purpose, wonder.

    and unwavering love. This isn't another parenting manual filled with techniques and tips. This is an invitation to join a movement of fathers who refuse to drift through this treasured role of being a dad. Every chapter will meet you exactly where you are and guide you forward one story, one truth, one step at a time. Whether you're a new dad feeling the weight of this responsibility or an experienced father questioning your approach, this journey is for you.

    You might be processing your own upbringing while raising your children or managing the unique challenges of single fatherhood or step parenting. The truth is every dad's story is different. A blend of victories and struggles, moments of clarity and seasons of uncertainty that make up the adventure of fatherhood. Your children are watching a man who cares enough to grow, to learn, to become the father they are longing for. I'm praying for you.

    Jeff Zaugg (14:40.342)

    cheering for you and believing that your best days as a father are still ahead. Let's go. Get ready to lead with wonder.

    Jeff Zaugg (14:55.086)

    Introduction. It was our first year of marriage and Michelle and I were living in a tiny one-bedroom attic in South Minneapolis. Money was tight, my career was just starting, and coffee? Well, let's just say that in 24 years, I had never developed a taste for it. Through high school and college, coffee was for other people, not me. Then I saw a billboard, free coffee.

    McDonald's was running a one month promotion to get people hooked on their new brew. The catch? You had to order before 7am. I thought, what could it hurt? It's free and I'm cheap. So for the next month, I added seven minutes to my commute, pulled through that drive through with a grin on my face, and ordered my free cup with two creams and two sugars.

    That simple rhythm seemed harmless enough. Stopping, grabbing that foam cup, walking to my desk, feeling a little more professional with my hot coffee in hand. I had no idea that it would change my life forever. Fast forward 19 years, coffee has become one of my greatest daily delights. And I've probably spent enough at my favorite coffee shop to employ one of their part-time baristas.

    For those first couple of years, I stuck with my cream and sugar routine at various coffee shops. But then my buddy Tyler introduced me to an incredible pour over coffee that completely changed everything. When I reached for the cream and sugar, he stopped me cold. Don't you dare add cream and sugar to this light roast. I protested. He insisted. I took one sip of that black coffee and was shocked by the smooth awesomeness.

    My taste buds had been lying to me. What I thought I loved about coffee was like flavored milk in comparison. Tyler guided me through the process of using an AeroPress and then upgrade it to the Chemex pour over. He guided me on grinding the beans and coaching on what gear to buy. And for the last 18 years, great coffee has brought me so much joy. I look forward to it, prioritize it.

    Jeff Zaugg (17:05.462)

    and seek out amazing local coffee roasters when we travel. It all started with a billboard and seven minutes added to my morning routine. What if the same kind of transformation is waiting in your fatherhood journey? What if a small shift in your daily rhythm could revolutionize how your children experience you as their dad? Here's my prayer that this book works like that billboard in your dad life.

    Just like pulling into the drive-thru and adding those few minutes to my commute, these brief story-based chapters are designed to create a new rhythm. What begins as a simple commitment to growth might transform the entire atmosphere of your home. And just like my friend wouldn't let me ruin good coffee with cream and sugar, I won't let you settle for watered-down fatherhood when something extraordinary is waiting. The Dad Awesome Framework.

    Through hundreds of conversations with remarkable fathers, six essential elements consistently emerge that spark transformation from dad average to dad awesome. Story. Seeing that your everyday dad decisions are crafting a multi-generational narrative that extends far beyond today. Identity. Discovering that you're a beloved son of God before attempting to become a loving father to your children.

    Intentionality, fighting the drift towards average by making conscious choices that align your actions with your deepest values. Freedom, embracing forgiveness and pursuing healing to turn the broken pieces of your story into beautiful foundations for your children's futures. Wonder, treasuring the gift of fatherhood rather than enduring it.

    ensuring your children know that you genuinely enjoy being their dad. Leadership, stepping into your God-given role as a catalyst for change rather than waiting for the perfect moment or perfect qualifications. These aren't just ideas to think about, they're transformational forces that can redefine your entire approach to being a dad. How to use this book.

    Jeff Zaugg (19:22.594)

    This book is designed for busy dads. Each chapter takes about seven minutes to read and follows a simple structure. A story that brings the principle to life. The principle unpacked in clear conversational language. Dad-awesome labs with practical experiments you can try immediately. Podcast connection for diving deeper with remarkable guests. Discussion questions for your DA plus three group. What's DA plus three?

    DA plus three simply means you, because you're dad awesome, plus three other dads who are committed to growing together. We found that fatherhood gets exponentially better when you're not doing it alone. You can absolutely read this cover to cover. I've intentionally designed this book to take you on a journey through the six essential elements with each chapter providing you with some inspiring and challenging ideas to chew on for a few days.

    or a week before you move on to the next one. But you don't necessarily need to read it that way. Jump to the sections that speak to your current season or challenges. Think of this introduction as that first free cup of coffee, the one that opened my taste buds to possibilities I never knew existed. Every chapter is another cup on this journey of discovery. Some might taste like the basic drive-through coffee with cream and sugar, familiar and comforting.

    Others will be like Tyler's incredible pour-over that completely transformed my understanding of what coffee could be. Each chapter invites you to explore a different facet of fatherhood, learning from the stories and struggles of other dads who have walked this path ahead of you. Just as my coffee appreciation deepened through Tyler's guidance, your fatherhood will be enriched by the wisdom these men share from their own journeys, the breakthroughs, the missteps, the moments,

    when everything changed. And here's what I've discovered. Coffee always tastes better with friends. The same cup that's good alone becomes extraordinary when shared with people who understand what you're experiencing. That's why I encourage you to grab your DA plus three, those three other dads who want to grow alongside you. Pour your favorite drink, crack open a chapter together, and let the conversation flow. The learnings stick.

    Jeff Zaugg (21:48.888)

    when they're shared, discussed, and committed to with other dads. Whether you're just starting on your fatherhood journey, looking to strengthen what you've already built, or hoping to repair what feels broken, these stories and principles can help you take your next step forward. So grab your cup, gather your guys if you can, and let's explore what's possible, one story, one chapter, one conversation at a time.

    Jeff Zaugg (22:20.664)

    About a year ago, our board of directors at Dan Awesome, we prayed into priorities for the year 2025 and the book came, it became clear that the book project was gonna be high on that list of priorities. And the goal, the target date was by episode 400. Let's get this book done by episode 400. I have good news in that the book is done. The bad news is writing the book is one thing. There's a bunch of other steps to bring the surrounding resources together to launch the book.

    from the design work to the spreading the word and sharing this mission, this vision with other partner ministries to so many other details coming that we're targeting right now early in 2026. So it's gonna be an early 2026 launch and there'll be more information coming. In fact, all of you who are part of our kind of support team, the generosity team that has fueled Dad Awesome and gives financially to support this mission, you're gonna hear and receive

    earlier in Q4. In fact, there's a small plug to join our monthly support team. We'd love to welcome you guys. I didn't even mean that to happen, but there you go. So let's now, let's do this. Let's go into look what God has done. Look at some of the moments in time in the conversations, in the 400 podcast episodes, the moments that have shaped this ministry. And I believe and I'm praying that you guys, one of these or multiple of these nuggets, you're going to be like, whoa.

    I have to go back and listen to that episode. So I'll try to feature them with clarity. They'll be in the show notes so you can find them. First up, from the first 100 Dad Awesome Conversations, we're gonna feature Pate Ieja, episode 25, then Paul Herkman, episode 38, followed by Ryan Scoug, episode 77, and then into episode 98 with Pablo Cerrone.

    Everything in culture these days is looking towards how do I make things easier for myself? How do I make things more comfortable for myself? And I would challenge that notion, as I think a lot of people spend some time kind of just discerning it, that that's not always the best thing. A lot of the places that we grow in life come from difficult things. In order to achieve something, you have to go through some difficulty. What I want my kids to do is to realize that hard things

    Jeff Zaugg (24:46.05)

    can be good. It's not that you should necessarily seek out things just because they're hard, but if you identify that something's good, you definitely shouldn't not do it just because it's hard. My kids are eyes wide open going into this, so they know, and they've had, they've all been there now since it's been 11 years, and seeing the exact same people that were trying to help, the reason that I am gone for right now at least a couple weeks every summer.

    to come to Nigeria. They know why I'm coming. They know what I'm doing. And they know it's because that saying that you love someone is one thing. Showing it through action and kind of being in the lives of people and trying to help people and meet their needs is another. And that's what we're trying to model for them. And it's not the only reason, it's not just for them to see it. But I am very glad that they're here to see it because I think that's going to help them in their...

    maturity and knowing about love in action, which is I think what Jesus calls us to do.

    Jeff Zaugg (25:50.774)

    Right now, today is the only day you have. And it doesn't matter what kind of a dad, what kind of a husband you were yesterday. And that doesn't just mean if you are bad. It also means if you were really good. That doesn't quite matter. What matters is that wherever you're listening to this, when you turn it off and you see your wife, if you had one, or your kids, what you do then is the most important moment to them. You can be whoever you want to be. Revelation says,

    Behold, I'm making all things new. Isaiah 46 says that he's doing a new thing and you're that new thing and you're the best representation or at least the physical construct. This is what biology tells us. Science tells us that our kids, until their brains grow big enough to understand that God is something that's not us, they just kind of picture dad is some kind of a proxy. And so love them.

    Say kind things to them. Be vulnerable with them. It's really okay for you not to be perfect. It's okay for you to go back and go, I'm sorry, I'm working on this, but you're worth it. You're worth me never giving up trying to be a better dad.

    Jeff Zaugg (27:02.304)

    It's actually the struggle that brings you together. And as a parent, that's something that we have a hard time thinking about in America, is that we shouldn't just have experiences where we celebrate with our children together. We need to have experiences where we struggle together, where we suffer together, where we sacrifice together. Your kids will always remember not just the fun they've had, but also the really hard things that they overcame and really hard challenges that you've overcome together. I realized one day when I was...

    planning some strategy for our companies, the thought hit me. Instead of being an amazing leader and a decent dad, I want to be an amazing dad and a decent leader. If I have to make a choice, I want to take the same entrepreneurial type of thinking and intentionality to being a dad as I would to being a leader. And I think in America, sometimes the push is to have lots of breadth of influence, and you miss the depth of influence. And so sometimes we're cheating

    the depth of influence opportunities that are right in front of us in our own family to have a deep, deep, deep influence in our friends and neighbors and our family and our kids. And we're sacrificing that so that we can have a breadth of influence in a broader area. I just, don't think, I think America's too hyper-focused on breadth versus depth. And so for that reason, I would rather miss some of the breadth influence type of moments of getting that reach out there, the platform and all those things, so that I can have a deep influence in my kids.

    Jeff Zaugg (28:36.152)

    The journey of being a good father, a great father, starts with becoming a son. We need to have the capacity to approach our dad as the father that he is and receive his love and receive his validation and his affection, his protection and his provision. And from the overflow of all of that, there is no other choice but to bring all of that to our kids. The more we become

    sons, as you quoted from George MacDonald, the more we learn to operate as the true sons of God that we are, the more we become the men that God created us to be, and that includes the fathers that we long to be for our sons. And then they get to receive what we didn't, and they get to become what we didn't have.

    in the second hundred podcast conversations. We'll go to Seth Dahl, episode 137, followed by Andy Crouch, episode 148, and lastly, John Tyson, episode 187.

    Jeff Zaugg (29:47.938)

    but we think the only weapon we have is the sword. And God says, wait a second, you also have arrows and they're your children. And if you learn how to work with your children in the kingdom, you can actually hit the enemy from a great distance, like a sniper would. You can take him out before he ever even saw you. You don't have to wait for him to come close and pull out your sword and fight him in hand-to-hand combat. You don't have to wait till he kicks down your door. You can shoot him before he even sees you, but that's the importance.

    learning to work with our children in the kingdom. And then you have the whole thing of like, hey, if we could have 10 arrows in the quiver, but if we don't learn how to get them out, it's the same as having no arrows. It's like, might as well, you know, if we don't learn to work with our children when it comes to the things of the kingdom, we actually limit our ability to fight, our ability to win, our ability to take dominion, our ability to extend the kingdom to the earth.

    because we hide our children in the quiver and it's like, dude, if we just protect our kids from the big bad world and we don't get them out and we don't let them loose, obviously carefully, obviously focused and aimed and wisely. But if we don't get them out, we're gonna struggle because arrows are meant to fly and strike the enemy. And if we don't get our kids out and let them do that, we're actually preventing them from operating in the God given identity.

    that they've been called to. And we're just protecting, protecting, protecting, instead of preparing and releasing and aiming. And it's like the whole world will be affected by what we do with our children.

    Jeff Zaugg (31:31.842)

    So if you feel like you've messed up, welcome to fatherhood. If I were giving myself a grade, God forbid, on my parenting, my fathering, you know, on the technology portion of the exam, I'd say in the end, I think we got like an A- and I think our kids would say that. But there are other parts of my fathering as I look back on those formative years with my kids, I'm like, my gosh, you know, C, barely, maybe out of the generosity of the teacher.

    moments of a total F and they didn't happen to be so much with technology, but you are not going to get through this without the two elements of trust. So the first, there's two elements in trust. It's got to sound weird. It's rupture and repair. Trust grows from rupture and repair. We start out our lives wanting to trust one another. If our relationship is broken in some way, that's the rupture.

    And then if we find a way to repair it, that's when trust starts. So the fact that you as a dad, and I'm not just speaking to you, Jeff, but anyone listening to this, look at the current moment and you're like, my goodness, we have rupture here. We have brokenness. I messed up. My kids have messed up. They know I'm mad. They're mad at me. you know, however it's working, you actually are on the first necessary step.

    to a much more profound relationship as a family than you can imagine at this moment. And now comes the work of repair.

    Jeff Zaugg (33:12.626)

    I mean, honestly, mate, that's one of the most rewarding moments of my life. It's one of the most meaningful moments personally for me, not just because of what it did to my son, but what it meant for me personally. Yes. So I drew the primal path out. You know, I'm somewhat of a strategic thinker by nature, but I had it on this huge blackboard. So it was like.

    It's massive and I laid it all out like the whole thing was written out and we do it in the morning behind this blackboard. And so he's looking behind me at the blackboard. And we're just talking and it's nothing breakthrough, it's just faithfulness. It's not like, what's like the best morning ever. We do the Devo's, we talk to him, this stuff or whatever. And then he just asked the question and he just says, dad, who took you through the primal path? I said, well, no one did. He said, well, where did all this stuff come from?

    I said, well, man, I made it up. said, what do mean? I said, well, I made all of this for you because I love you and I want you to have a pathway into adulthood. And he just sat there and was just like, so he was 14. He just said, wow, I feel really loved. And I was like, you know, do you remember at 14 feeling really loved? don't. I don't remember feeling really loved. don't, I don't remember.

    watching, like there's one or two moments from my mother, not a ton from my father where I thought, I think they really love me. They're not just doing duty, which is like, of course you provide for me, you're my parents, but that you really love me with tender affection. And honestly, you know, like, I don't say this with any pride. I say it with joy. Like I talked to my son right now and Nate will say to me, dad, I look at

    all of my friends and all of their relationships with their dads and you're the most intentional dad I've ever seen. Like I've just never seen another dad do what you've done. It doesn't mean it's perfect. He still does dumb crap. I'm not offering, I don't have a guide here to produce perfect young men. I just have a path of intentionality that sets up the odds in your favor. And if again,

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    You can't control your son's heart, but you can fight for it. And this is a plan to fight for your son's heart in future. And I believe that when we do that, we activate the heart of God. Divine favor comes through our way. The Holy Spirit gets involved when not in our own. And without it, I think you're left to, you left the chance and you left to the world. And so that's my goal is to just put something out there. And I tell dads all the time, if you don't want to do this, fine, something.

    Don't wing it!

    And in the 200s, episode 214 with Bob Goff, followed by episode 250 with Morgan Snyder, and then episode 286 with Jeremy Pryor, followed by episode 298 with Dr. Jackson Drumgoole.

    Jeff Zaugg (36:26.914)

    The kind of grandfather you want to be will be a byproduct of the kind of dad that you are. Tell me what you see in your future. If it's you sitting alone in a golf cart, playing golf and awesome, ignore your family. But if you want to be just around everybody and chaos and wonderful, go for it. And your nickname you want to give yourself is OPA. Like there's just something there. My kids, even now.

    When the grandkids come over, have lots of those iceberg roses. They're just like tons and tons of these. And every time before they leave, I pretend I'm going to sneeze and I have a handful of rose petals. go, a-choo, and the rose petals come out. Ever since this little two and a half year old, almost three, has been over to the house, he always leaves with rose petals on the window. And I'm telling you, when I am spending my last days here,

    I'm going to put rose petals on that kid's window. Like to just say, like, I just want them to celebrate. They'll see this and they'll remember. They call it in their faith traditions, the Rome of Christ.

    Jeff Zaugg (37:42.222)

    So I have this baby and it happened. Lord healed my wife of cancer. I have this little baby. And I said, wow, my first two children, I was lost. I wasn't a Christian. So God, I get to have this new opportunity to raise this little boy as a daddy in Jesus. didn't know you then. So Lord, what do you, what do must, what can I do for Jonathan to be?

    to love you and make you Lord of His life. And the Lord said, all you have to do is love your wife. I said, what? He says, if you love your wife in His presence, He will always trust you and believe you. But if He ever sees you abusing His mother, He will never trust anything you ever say to Him. The most important thing you could do is love His mother.

    in his presence always. And you know what? It not only worked. When he was six or seven years old, we could play ring toss when he was three. He had to beat me. There's something in a little boy that has to beat his daddy. And I could not figure out. We go out and play one-on-one basketball. I am six feet, and I don't think he's three feet yet. And he gets mad because he can't make a layup over my head. I didn't understand his competitive nature.

    We were riding to school one morning and he's quiet. And when a six-year-old boy is quiet, you know something, I felt him to see if he had a fever. Is he okay, son? Yeah, I'm just thinking about something, daddy. I never seen him think about anything. Just give me a ball, let me play, man. I said, okay. I said, what are you thinking about? He said, you know, daddy, I've been thinking about mommy. Mommy is different than you. Yeah? And she smells different than me. And her skin is so smooth.

    And I just love to cuddle with mommy and I've been thinking about it daddy. I bet I get to cuddle with mommy more than you do. I dropped him off at school and I say, Sir Jeff, you don't know this about me, but when I came into the kingdom, I came in with this idea that in everything that happens, God can speak to me. In everything God has a voice. The reason we don't hear, we never ask. And I said, Lord, what was that about?

    Jeff Zaugg (40:07.746)

    He said, well, you know this competitive nature. You have the woman he's in love with. If the family is what it should be, he will not settle for a wife any less than his mother. He's getting all the images of what he wants one day in a woman. And it will be someone of all the good virtue and wonderful things he sees in his mother. And I said, that's right. I got his woman right now. So that's why he's so darn competitive with me.

    Jeff Zaugg (40:45.88)

    know, Dallas would say, if you want to find God, His address is at the end of your rope. And I love parenting. It's what you and I share in common. It is our passion, right? I love the initiation of a young woman and a man into full maturity. It's what I live, breathe, eat, sweat, like think about all day. So with my second child, who happens to be a daughter,

    I kind of put forward my best dreams for her life in my practical shepherding her heart and a ton of stuff backfired. I remember the day that I'm sitting on the couch and my daughter's telling me every way that I've blown it. like, Jeff, I can't believe this conversation's happened.

    Here's the thing that I most value and apparently I most suck at. And in some ways it's my life's work. And it was a moment of such, I'd call it humiliation, but it was actually humility because I just went, wow, what do we have here? I didn't go to shame. I went to curiosity and I realized, okay, God, I need you. I need you to show me what you're doing and what.

    what was revealed over time is there was actually a lot of dreams I had for my daughter that I thought were God's that had to die. And a lot of that was my uninitiated places in the way in order that through all that death, I could come open-handed to God as it related to parenting these children in this story and come with genuine curiosity to say, Father, what are you doing now?

    What are you doing now? What's my role? Where am I in the way? And it would be one thing if it was just like my brokenness and my sin as far as like this, like needing to use her for my validation. But a lot of it was actually what I thought was good for her. And I was off, I was missing the mark. It's the moments of pain where I just go, this is the honor.

    Jeff Zaugg (43:17.61)

    If you, as the first generation, instead of raising your children, the second generation, to be happy or aiming at their happiness, if you aim at making them great parents of your grandchildren, in other words, you both work as a team, generation one, generation two, to bless the third generation, what will that create? Now that's a hypothesis. Again, like get one shot at this and we'll see what happens. But my belief and my hope is that if, instead of trying to

    dump resources on my kids with the sort of vision of this is for your comfort. This is so that you don't have to go through hard things like I did. A lot of those are the things I think that corrupt the second generation. You really actually want to have a bigger vision for the second generation. And this isn't about like saying my kids aren't important and my grandkids are. It's much more of a strategy for how all three generations can flourish. And I think that, so when we talk to our kids, it's like, how do we construct, you know, between our two generations, the best possible team?

    to really help that third generation. then will this just cause the fourth generation to be corrupt? Well, then what I hope is that the second and third generation do the same thing. The second and third generation then really begin to partner to create a great fourth generation. Because I think that one of the intuitions that shifts when you think this way is that when you're parenting your kids, I think the default in our culture is to parent your kids for their happiness.

    And I think that creates a terminal generation. And it's not hard to understand why that is because if they think, if you think that the life is about, you know, they're the center of the world. And then of course, if they think they're the center of the world, then, you know, that's gonna cause a certain kind of character development within them. But if instead you say, like we're both here and you're gonna see us sacrifice and we're gonna call you to sacrifice. We're gonna call you to build a kind of character that'll make you great parents of your children, of our grandchildren.

    My hope, my expectation is that that's gonna create the kind of culture within a family where the kids understand that there's bigger things than them.

    Jeff Zaugg (45:28.59)

    To some leaders, every problem is a nail and every solution is a hammer. And that's definitely not the way to do it. My children were never inculcated. They were never trained in the military. Nor my wife. My wife has never been in the military. So I can't come home and expect them to do what I tell them to do, when I tell them to do it, how I tell them to do it. No. I literally have to take, I did this for number of years. Before I come home, I take my uniform off. put it in the back seat of the car, hang it up and

    Next time that uniform would see me would be the next day. Sometimes I would pull up on the side of the road and just completely decompress for about 20, 30 minutes before I walk through that door. Because I recognized that they weren't my troops, they weren't my company, they could care less what my rank was, they could care less, know, they could, all they want to know, hey, is that dad, I hear his car coming, I'm going to put my hands on him. I'm going to love on dad. And I needed them to do that.

    There was a time because I was extremely critical in the military, just being honest, I was just extremely critical because people were being critical towards me. And that's just that mindset that I was being critical towards my children. And I noticed how crunchy they were towards me. Instead of them running towards me when I went home, they would run away from me. And I didn't want that.

    Jeff Zaugg (46:53.838)

    including this throwback, shining the spotlight to look what God has done in the 300s. We'll go to episode 304 with Ken Helzer, episode 314 with Jamie Winship, episode 364 with Justin Whitnell Early, episode 375 with John Eldridge, and lastly, episode 385 with Todd Harper.

    Jeff Zaugg (47:27.246)

    We practiced evacuating our house down into these rice paddies. If we got separated, here's where you guys meet up with us. Like all of that to make it a game. have to, fear comes from not knowing and the enemy can play with the hypothetical. Faith is built on the things that we know. Faith is substance of things we hope for the evidence of things not seen. It's very, it's measured and beautiful. It's not just insane. And so, and we just made it into a game with them.

    It's like, you know, this is going to happen. People could come down the street. It collapsed. The government collapsed. And it was horrible. And there was looting and houses were being burnt down and all that. Our Muslim neighbors, and this is all things are, it's funny because our kids, two of them, are married to Arabs. And one of them lives in Dubai and the other one is in Palestine a lot of the time. And this is all because of what they witnessed growing up.

    It collapsed and it was just mayhem. God was there and lots of crazy things happened. So it calmed down a little bit. It had calmed down a little bit. So I told our kids, there's a community pool not far from us. And I figured people in the city that weren't pillaging and riding, they're anywhere, that's where they're gonna probably be congregating. So I told our kids, let's get in the car. We had some other kids with us. Let's go, I'll drive in. We'll go to this pool.

    So we get in car, me and my wife in the front seat, and these are kids behind us in this little van. And we're driving down this, we're in a city of five million people. The streets are pretty quiet. And I turn, I could turn down this street. And when I turned down the street, there is this mob coming down the street and they have headbands on and they're carrying, you know, boards and they're smashing windows. And I don't know, it was, it was, it was, it was, was,

    The street was packed. There was no way through them. And there was, I couldn't back up. There was no turnoff. As soon as I turned, I was like, uh-oh. And there was like a tidal wave coming towards us. we had friends of ours who had been driving to the airport to get out had been stopped on highways and had earrings ripped out of their ear. It was brutal. The whole thing was brutal. And so here I am sitting in this van.

    Jeff Zaugg (49:52.622)

    And I see this wave of hostile, crazy, screaming people coming towards us. And we're foreigners in a car. We're the only one on the street and they're just coming towards us. And I just don't know what to do. I have no idea what to do. And so our son, the oldest one who lives in Dubai now, he said, he just yelled out, he said, oh, I said, I said, pray that we're invisible. Like, let's pray that we're invisible.

    And so he just repeated me. And so we did, we were just like, God, just make them not see us, like, please. And so we all just sat really still. And they came, they came right at our car. I mean, it was just like a wave and it just, they just separated right at the front of our car. And our car actually rocked back and forth with the power of the crowd. It rocked back and forth.

    But no windows were broken, nothing happened, and we just sat there for like forever as the crowds just came past us, rocking our car back and forth. And then they were gone. And then it was gone. And we just sat there in silence for a minute. Nobody said anything. And I said, okay. And so I started to drive forward to just go to the pool.

    And I started driving and that is my oldest son. goes, dad, make us visible again, pray that we're visible again. Cause he was concerned about driving around and visible the whole time.

    Jeff Zaugg (51:33.216)

    One of the most important flips in my life has been what I call scripture before phone as a daily ritual. And if, you know, I talk to friends who aren't believers, I give talks at law firms or corporations on mental health and habits. And, you know, in that case, I'll just say read before you go to your phone. But there's an incredibly formative flip to say, I'm not going to start in the inbox or in social media or in the news, which are all sort of answering some kind of question of

    What's going on today? What do I need to do today? Which is a very, honestly, very unhealthy way to start your day because our hearts, we have a God shaped hole in our heart and we're constantly wondering over and over, particularly at the beginning of the day, who am I today? And who do I need to become today in order to be loved or lovable? And if we start with those things in our face, a lot of times we think that's what we need to do. We need to accomplish this or that at work to feel good about our day. So starting in scripture.

    It's been an incredibly formative habit to say that I am loved, thus I can go out and return love to the world. I don't need to go out to earn it. Not in my job, not in my family, not in my marriage, not in anything. I can go out and give love because I am first loved. I would say as a dad, that is probably your first responsibility to walk into the world of your family as someone who is confident in the love of Jesus and the sovereignty of God over your life and your children's lives.

    so that you can be that non-anxious presence of love.

    Jeff Zaugg (53:11.918)

    But it's Easter morning. Who's at the tomb? It's Mary Magdalene. She's the first one there. And she's so wracked with grief. You know, when you are in grief, anybody who's lost, you know, parent, a child, a miscarriage, like it's just devastating. And she's just utterly devastated. And she thinks he's the gardener. Like her eyes are just swollen.

    from crying and she's, and then he just says her name. He just says Mary and she turns and that, and she recognizes him and that turning of the heart is one of the most beautiful human moments. It's our attention and our affection that we turn in many ways before our intellect follows.

    Like she's not going, wait a second, you're supposed to be dead. biologically, how does this work? There's none of the left brains going on here. Her heart is engaged first. It's the turning of the heart. I turn my heart towards you. I turn my affection towards you. And of course she ends up being the very first one to encounter the incredible news of Easter.

    all of it, right? The hope of the new creation. mean, everything that turning of the heart is this simple life of practicing the presence of God. Right? It's not first an intellectual exercise, though we can be helped by our left brain. You can study the scriptures, you can memorize them, you know, but it is first

    It is an inward turning of the heart to Jesus, need your presence. I need your help today. Jesus, come into this. Help me as I walk into this meeting. Help me with this phone call. I don't know what to do. That simple turning of the heart is the most beautiful thing in the world because it begins to restore the relationship.

    Jeff Zaugg (55:35.086)

    take a step forward from wherever you are. We never get to a place where we're as generous as we need to be. I compare it to love, right? Like, is there a place where you get, you know, I'm about as loving as I need to be. And I don't just mean money in generosity, right? How can I be more generous of spirit? How can I say an encouraging word to my kids? How can I?

    How can I put myself in my kids shoes? How can I be grow in empathy? How can I, you know, take a step forward and to the point of your whole podcast, right? How can I be intentional as a dad and not, not cheat my family in the pursuit of what this world says? I was with a gal last week.

    and were sharing the memories from before the age of 12. And she says, I grew up in a family that was well resourced. And she said, I was going through my journals from middle school recently. And I had written in my journal, money, money, money. All I really want is my dad to know my friend's names.

    So how are we showing up as dads generously in our kids' lives? And how can we make it fun to be more generous? And I would say, how can we grow in our faith in God's faithfulness? And that takes an action. And financial giving

    is a great way to grow. And I think it's why Jesus talked about money more than anything else, because it's such a tangible expression of our faith.

    Jeff Zaugg (57:43.16)

    I'm so grateful for you guys taking time to listen today, episode 400, and just see these little slivers of look what God did through this conversation and that conversation and that conversation. And in the show notes, there'll be links back to listen to all of these conversations. And I'm so excited that this can be a catalyst that moves all of us into a deeper, like God is speaking here.

    and I've got a whole conversation for you to go back in time. So that's part of why we wanted to shine the spotlight to look what God has done. Hey, I am so grateful for each of you leaning in, being a part of this journey. And that very last episode with Todd Harper, that was featured on Father's Day week just this year. But Todd Harper, his driving message around generosity, around asking God, what does it look like to step into greater degrees of living?

    for others versus living for myself. And even his promise from all his research, anyone who lives generously, they don't go back. truly, the reason I bring this up on episode 400 is there's a team of 37 families who give every single month financially, who have been a part of supporting this mission. And I just wanna invite you, if you're still listening to episode 400, to pray about joining that team.

    you can go to dadawesome.org slash give, and maybe with this milestone moment, you're like, I'm gonna hop in, can't actually join the ongoing monthly, but I'm gonna make a $400 donation to celebrate episode 400. Somebody's listening that's like, let's just have some fun. Let's add a zero to it. I've got a $4,000 donation. And there might even be somebody listening that's been already praying and has been strategically praying, God, show me where.

    to reallocate $40,000. Where's a ministry with more vision than they have current resources to make that vision a reality that I can help accelerate and propel into the next chapter? And truly, I'm so grateful for everyone who has given. And there's been so many incredible moments that I can look to and say, if it wasn't for this and this and this, Dad Awesome doesn't exist today. And that journey is one that I'm just...

    Jeff Zaugg (01:00:02.254)

    continually humbled by the generosity of our community. So, I want to encourage you guys, monthly is very best case, but a one-time gift to celebrate is also so appreciated. DadAwesome.org slash give. I want to pray for you guys. Heavenly Father, so grateful for what you have done in seven and a half years. God, thank you for your provision. Thank you for your wisdom. Thank you for.

    deeper friendships, the community formed. Thank you for families who are headed in a different direction with their priorities because of your moments of sparking. This is a God idea. And God, I pray for more testimonies and I pray for more kids to know my dad loves being my dad. And I pray more than anything that every dad listening would know how loved they are that God in heaven, that you celebrate these fathers.

    You are for them, you're cheering for them. You are their strength, you are their peace. You have everything they need for this chapter and God, you are so glad that they're dads and that they're learning and growing. So God, just pray your blessings, favor, just joy, joy from heaven over these dads listening in Jesus' name, amen. Go throw some confetti with your family today and we'll see you next week, episode 401.

    • "Instead of being an amazing leader and a decent dad, I want to be an amazing dad and a decent leader." - Ryan Skoog

    • "The journey of being a good father, a great father, starts with becoming a son." - Pablo Ceron

    • "If you learn how to work with your children in the kingdom, you can actually hit the enemy from a great distance, like a sniper would." - Seth Dahl

    • "Trust grows from rupture and repair. The fact that you have brokenness right now means you're on the first necessary step to a much more profound relationship." - Andy Crouch

    • "Dad, I feel really loved. So he was 14. Do you remember at 14 feeling really loved? I don't." - Jon Tyson

    • "The most important thing you could do is love his mother in his presence always." - Ken Helser

    • "If you want to find God, His address is at the end of your rope." - Morgan Snyder

    • "We're both here to sacrifice and build character that'll make you great parents of your children." - Jeremy Pryor

    • "I take my uniform off before I come home. They could care less what my rank was - they just want to put their hands on dad." - Dr. Jackson Drumgoole

    • "God, just make them not see us, like, please. And they came right at our car and just separated right at the front." - Jamie Winship

    • "I am loved, thus I can go out and return love to the world. I don't need to go out to earn it." - Justin Early

    • "All I really want is my dad to know my friend's names. How are we showing up generously in our kids' lives?" - Todd Harper

 

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401 | Beyond Comfort Zones: A Father-Daughter Conversation on Risk, Faith, and Inheritance (George & Amberly Gourlay)
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