389 | When a Cup of Water Becomes a Call to Wonder: Treasuring vs. Enduring Fatherhood (Jeff Zaugg)
Episode Description
Wonder isn't just a nice feeling—it's a weapon against the thieves trying to steal your joy as a dad. In this powerful Father's Day message, Jeff Zaugg reveals how a simple kiwi fruit taught him the difference between avoidance and amazement, and why the words "stop and consider God's wonders" could transform your entire approach to fatherhood. From bedtime water requests to marriage struggles, discover how ordinary moments become opportunities to fight for your family with eyes of awe.
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Jeff Zaugg is the founder of DadAwesome and host of 389 podcast episodes, helping fathers across the country discover the joy of fatherhood. Through his work with FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS, he's mobilized over 1,100 men through endurance challenges that have raised over $1 million for vulnerable children. Jeff believes the single greatest gift dads can give their children is the gift of presence—being fully with them in each moment. He and his wife Michelle have been married for eighteen years and are parents to four daughters, currently based in Northeast Florida, where you'll find him surfing with his girls or building epic backyard rope swings.
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Wonder multiplies when we move from avoidance to curiosity—God's goodness is waiting to be discovered and shared
Four thieves steal our capacity for awe: pace (hurried living), pain (unhealed wounds), people (unforgiveness), and perspective (familiarity)
The "tov" principle shows us God's explosive delight in creation and invites us to mirror that same wonder toward our children
A dad who fights for his family anchors on three words: loved (secure identity), learner (humble growth), and leader (purposeful connection)
Simple triggers like a cup of water can activate us to lead with wonder instead of annoyance
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Learn about the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort
Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618
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Jeff Zaugg (00:39.406)
get to choose to treasure fatherhood or to endure fatherhood, to be familiar and drift towards just being annoyed or angry or to see this multiplying goodness of God. We can choose avoidance, like me and the kiwi, or curiosity. God's wonder, it's waiting to be found and we get to multiply it to others around us. This is episode 389 of Dad Awesome and today we're gonna do a little switch up.
I had the chance, my name is Jeff Zog by the way, and thank you for listening today. The switch up is this, I preached on Father's Day two weeks ago here, I preached a message on the theme of wonder. And you've heard me talk about this theme. In fact, those of you who have been a part of the Dad Awesome Accelerator, the six week coaching cohort, wonder is week five. There's six core discoveries, six.
kind of meta themes, these core anchor discoveries we've made in the seven and a half years of Dad Awesome and Wonder is one of them. And I brought this theme, I prayerfully brought this theme to life in a way that I've never really shared it before at a church in Minnesota when I preached on Father's Day. And a few of my friends have encouraged me to release this as a podcast episode. So usually you're not gonna hear an entire episode of Just My Voice, but this is not a solo episode. Instead, it's just me featuring
a message that I preached a few weeks ago. So here we go, dive in, buckle up, maybe a couple of the things you've heard before, because if you've listened to a bunch of episodes, maybe some of this is threaded in, but I just believe and I'm praying that this message will sink into all of our hearts with an activation that is Holy Spirit led. So that's my prayer. Enjoy this message. This was from Father's Day 2025.
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was the last time, just think about the last time you were feeding your children, you're feeding them a meal, and they looked at you and they said, no way. They looked at you and said, not only will I not eat what you're serving me, but I'm gonna dig my heels in and won't even give it the smallest taste and I don't care. Right, have we experienced this? Okay, so this was little confession. This was me as a child and the food that I would not eat, I'll describe it for you.
This food is green in color. It's greenish brown, kind of crusty, hairy. When you cut into it, my backyard, there was a pond and there was frogs and frog eggs were stringy and black larvae. It's disgusting stringy tadpole type eggs. When you open this, that's a kiwi, it's a kiwi guys. I would not, I would not try this disgusting fruit as a child.
as a college student, as a young married man, all the way into fatherhood. I would not try the kiwi. And then my wife had a full day planned. We have a nine month old daughter and Michelle, mean, she's game on. Strategic meal plan, healthy eating. She leaves me the exact plan. This is what you're gonna feed our daughter. I have no problem. And I fed her everything else on the list and then I got to kiwi. Kiwi shoot. So she look full, maybe I can skip it. No.
She wanted the kiwi. My nine month old was sitting in the high chair next to me. I chop up the kiwi. I scoop it onto her little high chair. And as I'm scooping it, a small piece of kiwi sticks to my finger. This is not good. Usually I would run for the sink, get this thing off of my hand. I want nothing to do with the kiwi. I'm 32 years old. I look at my daughter. She looks back at me. I took a small taste of this kiwi. I pause.
I look at her, she has very few words. She looks back at me. I look back at her. It tasted amazing. 32 years of the life that I missed the kiwi. The past, well here's what I did next. I ate over half of her serving of kiwi. I stole back from her tray and I kept getting these odd like what you doing? And now since then my daughters.
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They know I'm the Kiwi Stealer. I gotta make up for those 32 years of no Kiwi, so I'm gonna steal back the Kiwi. So here's the flip that I made. I made the flip from avoidance to awesomeness. I made the flip, I switched from no way to no way, okay? I made the shift from disgusted by the sliminess, freaked out by the sliminess, to freaking out by the tastiness. I almost missed it.
Here's what I'm praying for. Tonight, could we be open and can we lean in and can we pray for a Kiwi tasting surprise from heaven tonight? Yes, are you with me? God, we pray that you would surprise us. God, we want a surprise from heaven. And like all dads, all of us are nodding, the journey of fatherhood is just a series of surprise after surprise after surprise. We're not ready for any of this, guys.
These surprises, some of them are delightful, like the kiwi, some of them. Some of them are disappointing. Some of these surprises are flat out devastating in fatherhood. And just to pause for a moment before we dive in, the, I mean just in the last two days, I'm having conversations with a friend, reconnecting with a friend who said his 11 day old is in heaven now. And.
This is unimaginable stuff. This is dad life that you just can't even, there's nothing you can do to prepare for some of the things we experience in dad life. And my dad, my dad's in heaven. He went to heaven five years ago. That's not what I, today stirs up, right? All of us are at a little different angle, a different mix between, some of us it is, there's delights, there's disappointment, devastation. Some of us are just like, I thought it would be this timing and there's been some delays. We can agree with that. Some of us are just walking in here.
We're drained. The dad life is just like, am tired and I'm not even sure I'm open to a surprise from heaven. Would you lean in with me tonight? Would you lean in for that surprise? I know that our Father in heaven has something for every single one of us. And this is what I found in the journey of the last...
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seven and a half years of fatherhood ministry, a repeated discovery that I continue to hear is around the theme of wonder. And we're gonna talk about wonder. We're gonna talk about wonder tonight, but here's the discovery. It's tell your kids that you enjoy being their dad. Tell them. Tell them with your words and show them with your eyes that you enjoy. We honor God in heaven by treasuring the gift of fatherhood. And we use our words to make sure
that our kids know it. So this is the phrase, you look down on their level, it's right in their eye, I love that I get to be your dad. We tell our kids. We're going after the theme of wonder, and if you are a dad, you're in the right place. But this message, if you're a mom, absolutely, God has something. If you're a future dad, a future mom, God has something for you. If you're a grandparent, yes. If you're someone who fathers,
who mothers, who teaches, who mentors, who nannies, who babysits, who serves in kids ministry, this is, I'm glad you're here. God has something for you today. And specifically if you're a young man. So if you're in the, let's call it 16 years old to 46 years old, if you're a young man.
Did I expand it too wide? This is for you.
God wants young men to grab ahold of a vision for fatherhood and it's for their future family or people you're influencing today in ways you do not know. Young men, listen to this for a second. This comes from Acts 2 and Joel 2, same exact words. In the last days, God says, old men will dream dreams and your young men will see visions. I will pour out my spirit in those days and I will show wonders in the heavens and on the earth. There is a direct connection between young
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men having a vision and God pouring out his wonder. So let's lean in young men. Let's lean in. God wants to plant vision that will make a difference to your great grandkids you have no idea today. So lean in, lean in with me. Here we go. Wonder. Everyone say wonder.
We're gonna start in Genesis chapter one. Let's start at the beginning, wonder. Here we go. I have a wonder map, I think it's on the screen, five stops. We're not gonna spend that much time in each one, but we're gonna start with God experiencing, being the first one to experience wonder. I call it from God's first wow to ours. In Genesis chapter one, seven times, God pauses, he looks at what he made, and with delight and gladness and wonder, God says, was good. And when I did a little deeper study,
And I have not studied extensively Hebrew. In fact, these two words I'll introduce you to today, they're blowing my mind, but I don't even understand all the facets of them. And God loves that, he loves that hunger to dive in. So the first word, say tov, T-O-V, tov. Tov is a Hebrew word that's explosive. This is the word God said when he says it was good. He's saying tov. And tov is a declaration of delight, of beauty, of life-giving purpose. When God says,
Tov, he's expressing profound satisfaction in what he's made. And just right there on Father's Day, what if we, what if dads in the room or leaders in room, what if we just paused and we profess, we express profound satisfaction in the children that God has uniquely created and gifted into our family? What if we just did that? Just copied God in that way of this brilliant, deeper meaning of Tov. So Tov, when God pauses these seven times,
He's saying, wow, look what I made. It's just like this joy of gladness and wonder. after verse one, so this is Genesis one, verse four, after creating light, he says tov. Verse 10, after separating the water from the land, he says it again, tov. Verse 12, after creating plant life, he says that same expression, that deep meaning tov. Verse 18, after creating the system for lighting the earth, he repeats it.
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Verse 21, after creating water and air animals, verse 25, after creating the land animals, and then verse 31, when God sees everything that he made, he pauses and he says, tov meod, meod, meod, that's how you say it, I think.
Tov Me'od is mighty good, strongly good, powerfully good. We see God, and this is just a little sliver of the expansiveness of his wonder, but we see him being the first to experience wonder. So now let's take the second stop to our wonder map, and we're gonna look at wonder and how it multiplies. And this directly, like we get to step into this, wonder that multiplies. There's a ripple effect to Tov.
Tov appears when something not only has life, but contains the potential to create more life. So think of a seed becoming an orchard, right? Or a sunrise. You take in a sunrise, this goodness of God in creation, and you want to tell somebody else. You want someone else to experience it with you. God's wonder at creation wasn't just about what was there, but about the endless possibilities of what could come from it.
So for fun, I wanna go back to two messages preached right here, and we're gonna talk about the ripple effect of Tov through a parable and a story about Jesus with little children. So these are both small things that God values enormously. So Mark four, verse 30 goes like this. And he said, Jesus said, with what can I compare? What can we compare the kingdom of God? Or what parable should we use for it?
It was like a grain of mustard seed, which when sown in the ground is the smallest of all the seeds of the earth. Yet when it's sown, it grows up and becomes larger than all the garden plants, and it puts out large branches so that the birds of the air can make their nests in its shade. So this was my takeaway from Pastor Venn, and my takeaway is a bunch that apply here. The mustard seed was actually considered a weed. It's not what people wanted. It was an invasive species.
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that farmers would never intentionally plant in their field. And Jesus was likely, he was saying the kingdom starts with what looks insignificant and even unwanted. That's where the kingdom, we gotta be curious right there about the kingdom. The kingdom, this is an example of the multiplying tove that ripples God's goodness in unexpected ways through unexpected things that are likely small. Now, take that mustard seed principle and we're gonna set it alongside a
Three verses from Matthew, Matthew chapter 19, verse 13, then people brought little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them, but the disciples rebuked them. And Jesus said, let the little children come to me. Do not hinder them for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. And when he had placed his hands on them, he went out from there. So Jesus, he emphasized the multiplying
Tove the explosive goodness and awesomeness in these little children and he treasured these little children. Look at these three action steps. Jesus just, he modeled three things for us that are critical. So proximity was the first one. He brought them in close. There was closeness. Let the little children come. Don't stop them. And then he placed his hands on them, gentle touch. He took the children in his arms. He placed his hands on their heads.
And then the third thing, he prayed for them. He spoke identity and blessings. He said, the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. That's how he spoke. He beamed when he said it, I'm sure. Both the mustard seed and the story of Jesus with the little children, they reveal how the kingdom of heaven is actually a flip of what the world system looked like. And this is how the unwanted were celebrated. The pushed away were pulled in close.
And we're invited, this is simple, we can copy and have expectation, this is multiplication copy. When we copy Jesus like this, we can expect the kingdom of heaven to multiply. So here's again how we're gonna copy Jesus. We're going to follow his example with proximity with children. We're gonna pull them in close. We're gonna pull them in close. Don't stop them, don't let the children be hindered. We're gonna place our hands with gentle touch on the children that have been entrusted to us. Gentle touch, he took the children in his arms.
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And then the third part, we're gonna pray for kids. We're gonna use our words that God has given us to speak life, speak blessings, and remind over and over that the kingdom of heaven belongs to these kids. Okay, one more example of multiplication of wonder. And this comes from a conversation just a few weeks ago with Dr. Ken Sandy. He's an expert in the peacemaking and relational wisdom space. And he has this vision of heaven. And this is again, it's his vision that I'm sharing with you.
that's blowing my mind, okay? So his vision is he gets to heaven and there's a screen. And on the screen, you can scroll through, this is each of us, our own life, we can scroll through and any interaction, conversation, moment, service that you're at, like I'm picturing the kid sitting in that seat right there at Everyday Heroes, could scroll back to that moment on Tuesday night, learning about seeing like Jesus. And what you do is you pick a moment in your life and you hit the ripple button next to it. And what happens is the screen
floods with the cascading ripple of the goodness of God because of that moment in that chair and how it changes countless lives. If we could do that, just imagine with more wonder that this interaction, that conversation, this moment of prayer has a ripple button attached that would absolutely blow our minds as it cascades over time. We would live differently. We would. So, I could get wrapped up in that for a long time, but I wanted to share it with you. Let's take the third stop.
in our wonder map this evening. So the third stop is wonder was built into everything. And I think that creation is tugging us back towards wonder if we give it a chance. And there's just four examples. There's so many examples of wonder and how creation, being outside in God's creation can stir us. But I wanna share a couple sounds that stir me to wonder that are straight up God saying, here you go in creation. So here are the two sounds. The first one,
is when we were pregnant for the first time 11 years ago, we're at our appointment to hear, it's the ultrasound appointment. And as a rookie dad, you don't know how long this is gonna take, and I'm holding my wife's hand and I'm waiting. And there's someone we've never met that's using the machine, trying to find the heartbeat, and I'm waiting and I'm praying, and I'm not breathing. I'm so, like, there's so much anticipation and so much like, God, I want so bad to hear my little one, I didn't know if it was a boy a girl at the time.
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And then the silence in the room, you hear the heartbeat. What a gift. That is a moment that forever will be like, wonder, this baby has a heartbeat, right? The next sound is similar, but louder. The next sound, the day our daughter was born. I'm sitting with my wife, we're helping, I'm helping, she's doing her thing, and we're praying, and I'm holding her hand, and I'm praying, and then we know, the two of us know.
Our baby girl has been born, but there's a pause between knowing the baby girl has been born and hearing that she's been born. And then our precious daughter's voice fills this room, and that voice was like her. It's this beautiful cry saying, I've arrived and I'm alive. And that cry will forever wonder. It's like God's creation, like it blows my mind, these two sounds, and I wish that today.
when my youngest is now four, when she's having a rough day and using her voice loudly, does it stir me with the same wonder? I wish, but it doesn't, okay, it's a tension. But this is like our kid's voice the first time and even knowing those two examples of a heartbeat and first cry of a baby on Father's Day, mean, there's people in this room, people watching, like this is the tenderness God knows. If those two stories moved you to be like,
loss actually is what I feel in this moment. God knows, God loves you. God promises nearness. He is so near the brokenhearted and he's the God of hope. He's the God of hope and there's beauty. He treasures and he is so close to you. So please know like those two sounds beautiful and devastating in some stories. Let's move to the next sound. This sound for my daughters is one that they are so curious about.
the sounding creation is thunder. When thunder goes off, my heart is like, whoa! And then it lights up the sky, and then my girls are just like wondering, will thunder be in heaven? Will lightning be in heaven? I'm like, I don't know, but let's see. And we've taken in a little bit of an exploration into the book of Job around thunder. It's one those areas of creation that's just tugging me back towards wonder. Job 37, 38, and 39, there is so much.
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of a reset that helps us frame how big God is with these three chapters. But I wanna focus on Job 37, so feel free to turn there with me. Job 37, verse one says this, at this my heart pounds and leaps from its place. And then if we move forward to verse five, God's voice thunders in marvelous ways. He does great things beyond our understanding.
And then if we fast forward a little further to verse 14, he says, listen to this, Joe. And this verse to me is, if I could have this verse on repeat like five times a day, it would be so helpful because I need this. So I'll just use my own name right here. Listen to this, Jeff. Stop and consider God's wonders. How much could we all reframe that to our own name? Like listen to this.
Stop and consider God's wonders. If we could just do that. His wonders are all around us, but we're missing it. I think we're missing it way too often. So stop and consider this, Job. Verse 15, do you know how God controls the clouds or makes his lightning flash? Do you know how clouds hang poised? Those wonders of him who has perfect knowledge. Thunder, lightning, these sounds from birth.
There's many other examples that tie into reminding us of God's bigness and reminding us that, wow, I don't understand everything, but I'm thankful that God does, right? So here's one other example in creation that anchors me back towards wonder. It's built into this, is marriage. So Michelle and I, next month is 19 years of marriage that we're celebrating, and we're so thankful. Thanks for celebrating with us.
We're still learning, my goodness, but one discovery that we've made together is around this idea of staying, having eyes of wonder versus familiarity. So I've had the choice to grow in my marriage towards familiarity or towards wonder and amazement. And dads, if you're married, the second greatest force multiplier towards being dad awesome is being husband awesome, okay? It is, it is for sure, for sure.
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And I'm gonna pause on it to say, you're curious probably, well what's the first greatest force multiplier of being dad awesome? And it's this, it's worth taking a moment on. My friend describes the process as, you gotta be son awesome before you try to show up as dad awesome. And if we just use, imagine there's a waterfall over here. And that waterfall, so as a young dad, as dad, I have the choice, I could go to that waterfall, and it's a waterfall of God's love.
His lavishing love. And if I choose, instead of just trying to figure this dad thing out on my own, if I go and get soaking wet with the love of God, the lavishing love of God, and I know my identity, I know that I'm loved, I know that he's proud of me as his son, I can show up over here as a loving dad and exponentially, the way, basically, you get soaking wet over there with God's love, and then you go give your kids a hug. Have you ever been soaked and you give your kids a hug?
They're gonna get wet, okay? So that's the first greatest force multiplier. The second greatest force multiplier is being husband awesome. This does not mean perfect at all, but this is what it does mean. It means that you treasure your wife. You pursue your wife. You're curious. You're fascinated by your wife. And I actually, I think that this framework of delight and awe and fascination
a tool to help all of us, because we're all looking for new tools, new ways that I can step into a new chapter of my marriage. If we take this framework of tov, meod, meod, if we take this framework of saying how in my wife do I see the multiplying goodness of God? If I pause and say, where do I see the multiplying goodness of God in my wife? Through her motherhood, I see it there all the time, through our marriage and the way that she pursues me, through friendships.
through her leadership, through her prayers, through her generosity, I can move from being familiar to saying, look at all the ways that she is taking, receiving the goodness of God and multiplying it all around her, right? This is a clear example of us multiplying wonder by just changing our frame of reference, changing this lens towards, see wonder and I'm going to be curious and I'm gonna celebrate it. So this is how we expand out of husband mode into, this applies to every single one of us.
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When we see with shiny eyes, instead of dulled familiarity, we become carriers of God's wonder-filled delight, spreading this tov meod through our lives. So we can actually be conduits. can be part of the multiplication process if we choose to see differently and celebrate differently, and then we can multiply it forward. It's a beautiful thing, but we have to look forward and we have to step into it.
So this takes us to our fourth stop in this wonder tour that we're doing this evening. And we have to look for a moment at what's gonna steal our wonder. What are the thieves of wonder? And I came up with four that I think will be helpful for us. So the first thief of wonder is pace. Our pace robs us of awe. When there's no space in our day to gaze, to celebrate, to pause enough to...
Like we just can't encounter the goodness of God. And then that means we can't multiply it forward if we don't experience it ourselves. Our pace is robbing us of wonder. Jesus shows us so many places that he went a different path versus the hurried path. And here's a few examples of Jesus taking a different route when it comes to pace. Jesus heals a man with leprosy and then he's off to a lonely place to pray, Luke 5, 16.
Another one is he's feeding the 5,000 and then Jesus is off on a mountainside by himself, John 6.15. And then before choosing the disciples, instead of building out this Gantt chart, the strategy, the pros cons list, he spends a whole night on a mountainside in prayer. This is Jesus modeling pace. And this promise in the book of Psalms, Psalm 46.10, be still and know that I am God. There's a promise attached to a different approach to our pace.
I love these tender words. Jesus spoke over Martha when Martha was racing around. This is in Luke chapter 10. And we, I need this, I need this on Father's Day. Right now need this. The phrase in the middle here is you are worried and upset about many things. How many of us is that true? We're operating at a pace that we're caring, we're worried and upset about many things. And Jesus gently says, Martha, Martha.
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You're worried and upset about many things, but few are needed. Indeed, only one, only one. So this invitation around pace is come away, be still, slow down. I wanna move to the next one. So pace is key as far as the thief that will steal our wonder. The next one is around pain. In pain, it dims our capacity to see beauty. We can't see and experience awe because maybe there's some way pain
has a hold of us and God has so many promises around. Man, pain is real, but the weight attached to it, it's not ours to carry because we have a good Father who wants to carry it. I'd to share a story from a couple years ago in Southern California, my family, we were traveling for the ministry and we knew we were headed to Southern California in this timeframe and we realized our partner church was synced up with 30 other churches to host a worship night at the Oceanside Amphitheater, so outdoor.
30 churches and it turns out that worship night was on my wife's birthday. And at this point we're traveling with four little girls. Date nights are not happening often. And my mom was flying in, perfect timing, my mom's flying in, she says, yes, you guys do a date, do dinner, go to the worship night. We're pumped, like this is all coming together perfectly. We picked my mom up from the airport and we had a few hours before the date started. So.
We go to the beach, it's beautiful, November day, our little girls are wearing their little wetsuits and they're learning to surf. And I'm looking at the waves, one or two foot, glassy, low tide, I'm helping my girls delightfully learn how to surf. Perfect, right? This is wonder at this point. And I push my four year old daughter into like her second or third wave and as she's taking off, I'm like pumped, I'm watching her ride. I get hit with the worst pain I've ever experienced.
in my foot, like it hits and drives in so deep, this pain, I am completely like this. I forget that I'm even helping my girls surf. I am entirely focused on the deep pain in my foot and I start hobbling my way back to the beach, my girls are looking at me, I'm like anger and fury is in my face. I'm confused but I'm also experiencing such levels of pain. I lay on my back on the beach, looking in the wound, trying to figure out what happened. I'm like, this is right at the edge of calling an ambulance.
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and I figure I can get back to the RV. So we're about a third mile away. I bike down on a beach towel and I'm hobbling. This tall dude is hobbling back. I don't even know where my girls were. I was so focused on myself in this moment. But I get back to the RV and as I approach one of the neighbor, there's some fun, interesting neighbor people in RV parks. This guy though, he's like, you okay? And I explain what happened. He's like, dude, you just got stung by a stingray.
And he said, that's why it's getting worse and worse, the pain. You got the poison in there. And he's like, hey, boil a pot of water and put your foot in it. That's what you want to hear from a stranger, right? It's like, put my foot in. So I did, I did. And it worked. The pain went away. Like, and it's not quite boiling. Let the bubble stop it. It's hot, hot. My foot, the pain went away, but every time I took my foot out, so I didn't need to get to the hospital, but every time I took my foot out.
the pain came rushing back. And we knew pretty quick, we knew our date nights, the worship, that's not happening. Like the level of pain, this is a serious, like it's not happening. My pain from this injury caused me to not be able to think about my family at all, and my pain actually transferred to my family. They felt the weight of dad experiencing this pain, and there was a lot of sorrow, sadness just bummed out, and there was also a lot of just like, is he gonna be okay, right? Our pain spreads, our pain also,
it took my emotional capacity. If you want to experience wonder, you have to have emotional capacity. It was gone, it stole it away. Let's look for a moment before I finish the story. Isaiah 61 verse one is the passage that Jesus opened up the first day he went to his hometown synagogue. He opens this up and Jesus says this. He reads Isaiah 61, he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners.
to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God to comfort all who mourn. My three youngest daughters and my mom and Michelle, they went to the beach for sunset. It's like, well, best case, I'm okay. They went to the beach to watch the sunset over the ocean. And my oldest daughter's nine at the time, she stays with me. And she, they had been praying for me, but she, this was a one-on-one moment. She said, I'm gonna pray for you again. She prays for me.
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And then she looks at me with a little extra boldness and she says, dad, stand up.
And I stood up and took a couple steps. Usually that's how far I made it. I had to get back to the boiling water. I took a few more steps. I didn't want to get her hopes up, but I knew I was healed. And I looked at her and I said, my foot is completely, the pain's gone. She's like, call mom. So I call her, she rushes back. We hop in the car, we're off for our date night.
We stand for three hours worshiping. So if anyone ever brings up, I mean stingrays, still have a little bit of, don't talk to me about stingrays, but if you bring up Oceanside, if you say Oceanside, California, that is a moment marker for our family of God answering prayer and it being the immediate answer to prayer into the celebration of God's goodness with 30 churches and thousands of people at the amphitheater. This is what the next verse says, verse three. And provide for those who grieve in Zion.
to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. My daughter knows this passage and she knows the garment of praise. We went and experienced that garment of praise and instead of that despair that we were stuck in next to the RV. God can transform brokenness into something beautiful and this is key here. Wonder, isn't the absence of pain.
but it's the ability to see God's beauty and his goodness and his purpose even in our suffering. Let's look at people. The third thief of wonder is people. And specifically, I wanna talk about unforgiveness. The older we get, the more people we encounter. And the more people we encounter, the more opportunities we have for hurt and resentment, unforgiveness.
Jeff Zaugg (34:30.506)
It's impossible to live with awe and wonder while harboring unforgiveness and bitterness. is. Unforgiveness, it dims our eyes from shiny and glowing to downcast and dim. And I love, I love this statement. I wanna get to the rocking chair with love on my heart. As we get older, as we get older, we have this choice.
to experience God's goodness, his grace, his forgiveness, his joy, his delight, or we can add hurt to our journey and hang on to it. I really believe this is that area God wants to highlight for us, is having a soft heart. I wanna get to the rocking chair with love on my heart. Ephesians 4 verse 32, be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just in Christ. God forgave you, we've been forgiven much.
We can love much, we can be fast to have grace, we can be, I heard one mentor say, like a Teflon pan, it just slides right off because of God's goodness in comparison. We're not holding onto this, we're not holding onto it. Matthew seven, I'm not gonna read the whole passage, this, Jesus highlights in Matthew seven, verse three, he highlights sawdust spotting. So we can look and spot sawdust in other people's eyes.
And we can actually add, because of spotting sawdust, we can add a lot of like, just frustrated with other people, because look at these things other people are doing. Or we can look at the two by four plank that's in our own eye, and this is what Jesus gets a little passionate about. He says, you hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will be able to see clearly to remove the sawdust, to help others get the sawdust out. And this is the gift that we get to give.
All of us can give this to the next generation. We can give this to our kids and our grandkids. The gift is keeping a soft heart, keeping a tender heart, being quick to forgive, being full of grace. It's a gift that we can wrap up and it's contagious. Our kids will grow to have soft hearts, tender hearts, and men, can lead the way. We can lead the way in this area. Malachi 4 verse 6. This is the Malachi mandate, the last verse in the Old Testament.
Jeff Zaugg (36:52.718)
It's about the turning of hearts. And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with the decree of utter destruction. So that's a pretty strong exclamation point at the end of that verse. the core, man, the punch here is the turning of hearts from fathers to children, children to fathers. If we have a hard,
jaded, unforgiving, offended heart. That heart cannot turn. It's stuck. And the turning of the heart is everything. So we're gonna fight to be the sons and daughters of God that can walk with soft hearts. And we're gonna just, over and over, in comparison to God's love, I can choose soft heart here. I can choose to move towards tenderness. The last thief is perspective. And we already mentioned this briefly, but.
Familiarity diminishes our wonder. And our perspective is critical here. Familiarity keeps, it creeps in and it steals our capacity for awe. And on Father's Day, I think, you know, some of us might have grown familiar with our own dad. And let me, a dad who, for five years on Father's Day, my dad's been in heaven. I wanna encourage you, if you can reach out to your dad with wonder instead of.
Ah, familiarity. That can be a treasure that you'll be really thankful you did. Also to our kids, we can move towards annoyance or we can move towards gratitude and familiarity will amp up the dad annoyed. The annoyance, it's a real thing. But if we move towards wonder and curiosity, we can return to treasuring our children. And this is all perspective wants to steal our wonder. Matthew 6, 21, the Amplified Translation.
It gives some texture to treasuring. What am I treasuring? And if I treasure something, what is the cascading effect of treasuring? So if I treasure, here's what Matthew 6.21 says, for where your treasure is, there your heart, your wishes, your desires, that on which all life centers will also be. There's a following of treasuring. And we get to choose to treasure fatherhood or to endure fatherhood, to be familiar and drift towards
Jeff Zaugg (39:18.638)
just being annoyed or angry, or to see this multiplying goodness of God, the tov meod. We get to see that in our kids. We can choose avoidance, like me and the kiwi, or curiosity. God's wonder, it's waiting to be found, and we get to multiply it to others around us. So here's where we'll land, is with a challenge. Father's Day, you know, we don't wanna leave with just intent. I wanna help tee up.
a specific Father's Day challenge for all of us. And I call it the Father's Day Fight or Flight Challenge. So give me a little nod if you're with me for this challenge. you guys with me? Okay, here we go, here we go. Let me start with explaining the setup. So my daughters will go from not mentioning their water bottle or a cup of water at all, things are good, things are peaceful, and all of a sudden one of my daughters will mention I'm a little thirsty. And then within,
One and a half seconds, all four daughters are screaming because of how bad they need a drink of water. They're like, it's crazy. Something about water and kids. It's like, you go from not even thirsty at all to if I don't get water now, I'm gonna die. Like it's wild. And water, for me, this is the specific moment. And we're not great at water bottle management. It's a real struggle. We, at bedtime, about a year and a half ago, I...
I took over, bedtime is my domain. Like Michelle, for sure, in and out helps, but I get to own bedtime with my four girls. And bedtime, it's 40 % delightful. It is, it is. I really enjoy, I mean a slice of it. But from jammies to brushing teeth, to cleaning the room, to story time to another story time, to prayer, to songs, we land usually delight. I mean, I really love.
Then I get to pray over and sing over. And then there's this backpedal of like, dad, life is great. And then I shut the door, crack the door. It's gotta be perfect. The margins there, it's perfect. Guys, I, one of my daughters, there's no whispering, dad, I'm thirsty. And like that, the wonder has evaporated and four monsters are yelling at me for water. It's like.
Jeff Zaugg (41:42.222)
How can it go so fast? We were really experiencing delightful moments.
What does this have to do with the fight or flight challenge for Father's Day? Would you turn to 2 Samuel, 2 Samuel chapter 23. I wanna land with a very specific cup of water being an activator for all of us today, not just the dads, all of us, a cup of water. 2 Samuel 23 is about David's mighty men. 2 Samuel 23, verse 13, and three of the 30 chief men,
These are David's mighty men, went down and came about harvest time to David at the cave of Adulam. When a band of Philistines was encamped at the valley of Rephaim, and David was then in the stronghold, and the garrison of the Philistines was then at Bethlehem. And David said longingly, that someone would give me water to drink from the well of Bethlehem that is by the gate.
Then three of the mighty men broke through the camp of the Philistines. It's worth a pause. I have never fought through a garrison of armed soldiers to get a cup of water for my daughters.
But look what his men did. They broke through the camp of the Philistines and they drew water out of the well of Bethlehem that was by the gate and they carried it and brought it back to David. But he would not drink it. He poured it out to the Lord and said, far be it for me, O Lord, that I should do this, should I drink the blood of the men who went at the risk of their lives. Therefore he would not drink it.
Jeff Zaugg (43:31.564)
and these things the three mighty men did.
Fight or flight? With the ministry Dad Awesome, every dad that we get a chance to serve, we help create a fight or flight list. And this is simply, what does it look like to be a dad who fights for his family? Not against, fights for his family. And what does it look like to be a dad who takes flight from his family? For me, what does it look like? And even as I give that setup, there is...
Jeff Zaugg (44:07.256)
The idea of a dad who fights for a family, there's amazing single moms that maybe because the husband passed away, divorced, whatever the situation, you don't have a dad who's fighting for your family. You do, you do. All of us have a God in heaven who is the Lord of heaven's armies and he is fighting for your family.
So as much as this little example today is gonna be for a dad who fights, you have a father in heaven who fights perfectly and never gives up and is pursuing your hearts and loves your kids more than any earthly father could. So we have that confidence. So this is a quick example of my fight or flight list. Again, I said every dad creates their own, but my fight or flight list anchors on three words that my daughters, know these words. Michelle knows these words. These are part of our family. The three words are loved, learner, leader.
If I'm a dad who fights for my girls, fights for my family, I know that I'm loved, it's identity, I know I'm loved. I go to the endless well of God's love, I get on my knees in prayer, I'm confident in God's love, I know he's for me, I can show up full of his love for my family, I'm loved. I'm a learner means that I'm humble, I apologize often, I'm growing, I'm teachable, I have a soft heart, I'm moving in the direction of a soft heart. That's a dad who's fighting for his girls, his family. And then the last one, a leader.
means I'm gonna pursue connection, I'm gonna pursue dating my wife, pursue connection with my girls, I'm gonna lead by serving, I'm gonna lead by loving, I'm gonna build culture, and I'm gonna build friendships with other men, because that's a direct gift to my family. So that's what it looks like to be a dad who fights for his family. A dad who takes flight, some things on my list are passivity, selfishness, when I'm powerless, because I'm disconnected from the source.
short-term perspective. The world that we, the stream that we're all swimming in, guys, the world, the culture is pushing us towards being dads who take flight, and God has a plan for us to be dads who fight for our family.
Jeff Zaugg (46:21.624)
David said, that someone would give me water to drink from the well of Bethlehem that was by the gate. Three mighty men, they heard differently. They heard this longing request. They heard their King, King's voice, and they went and they took action and they did something extraordinary. They risked their lives. The mighty men, they heard differently. My prayer for all of us.
is that when we see a cup of water, when we get requested to bring a water bottle, when we think of taking a sip of water, this could be for ourselves tomorrow at work, you go fill up your water bottle at the office, this could be tonight when your kids ask, a cup of water can activate us to lead with wonder. This could be an anchor point, a nudge from the, to say, I'm gonna see differently, I'm gonna realize that wonder has come and I get to multiply it out, I get to step into that water, can activate us to wonder.
Water can remind us to fight with our words. We're use our words to bless, not curse. To fight with my eyes. I'm gonna treasure my girls, I'm gonna watch what I look at with my eyes. I'm gonna fight with my prayers. I'm gonna fight with my curiosity. I'm gonna fight by turning with a soft heart towards this family that I treasure. I'm gonna fight by pursuing my wife. I'm gonna fight with three other dads. Massive. David's mighty men did not go after that adventure alone. They risked everything in brotherhood.
That is a direct gift to our children when we pursue deeper friendships with other men. I'm gonna fight with my identity sure as a child of God. And lastly, I'm gonna fight as the worship leader for my home. And when I could move towards annoyance when I'm requested a cup of water, I'm gonna allow that cup of water to remind me of wonder. And when I go fill up that water bottle or that cup, I might even dump a little out.
If I dump a little out this, what David did, because he was so in awe of God, and he couldn't even imagine taking that gift himself, we can actually use that as a reminder to just, I'm gonna worship you, even if the reward right now doesn't look like I'm being told thank you. I'm gonna choose to fight for my family. I'm gonna choose wonder. I'm gonna choose to multiply wonder to those around me. A cup of water can activate us to lead.
Jeff Zaugg (48:39.5)
Remember that Kiwi, the Kiwi moment? I almost missed it. I almost missed 11 years of enjoying the Kiwi. I was stuck in some assumptions that were stealing my wonder. And we started this journey with God, God expressing his delight and joy and gladness. God saying, wow, look what I made. And we've seen how wonder multiplies and we've explored how wonder is built into everything. And we've identified these thieves that wanna steal our wonder.
When life hands us an ordinary cup of water or a bedtime routine or another demanding day, we can choose to see it through the eyes, through the lens of wonder. And we can fight for our families with the same delight that God had when he looked at his creation and said, wow, it's amazing, it's good, it's multiplying goodness.
Jeff Zaugg (49:39.768)
Thank you so much for joining us today for this spotlight on a message that I preached on Father's Day. Guys, let me pray for you right now. God, thank you for each dad listening, and thank you that you have specific next step. You have a specific area of, in the fight or flight, in them being the dad who fights for their kids, fights for their family. God, would you shine the spotlight of your Holy Spirit on their specific action step, and may
a cup of water, may, when our kids ask for a water bottle or a cup of water, God, may this be a prompt, a nudge from heaven that reminds us to lead and multiply wonder. Man, what a gift, God. I pray that we would be those dads that multiply wonder to our kids and that we would be dads who treasure fatherhood. We pray this in Jesus' name, amen.
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"We honor God in heaven by treasuring the gift of fatherhood, not just enduring it."
"Wonder isn't the absence of pain, but the ability to see God's beauty and goodness even in our suffering."
"You gotta be son awesome before you try to show up as dad awesome—get soaking wet with God's love first."
"Our pace robs us of awe. When there's no space to gaze, celebrate, or pause, we can't encounter God's goodness."
"I want to get to the rocking chair with love on my heart, not unforgiveness weighing me down."
"We can choose to treasure fatherhood or endure fatherhood—familiarity keeps us from wonder."
"A cup of water can activate us to lead with wonder instead of moving toward annoyance."
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