419 | Don't Long for Someday, The Discipline of Gratitude, and Becoming the Best Version of You as a Dad (Bart Scharrer > FROM THE VAULT)

Episode Description

When health crises hit your family and life doesn't go as planned, how do you keep leading well? In this episode from the vault, Bart Scharrer shares how he and his wife have navigated seasons of uncertainty with their daughters—and why gratitude isn't just a nice idea, it's the way through. You'll also hear how teaching your kids to ask good questions can shape their confidence, relationships, and even who they marry someday.

  • Bart Scharrer is a pastor, board member at DadAwesome, and father of two young adult daughters. He and his wife Amy have walked through significant health challenges with their girls and have learned to lead their family with gratitude, presence, and trust in God's timing. Bart is passionate about helping dads stay engaged and intentional through every season of fatherhood.

    • Don't long for the next season at the expense of today. Embrace where you are right now with your kids.

    • Gratitude is the discipline that keeps you other-centered when life gets hard. It's not ignoring the pain—it's the way through it.

    • Teaching your kids to ask good questions builds confidence, connection, and character that lasts into adulthood.

    • You set the temperature in your home. Your presence, tone, and emotional awareness shape the climate your family lives in.

    • Serving together as a family—in the neighborhood and at church—creates lasting values and surrounds your kids with great people.

  • What's up guys, welcome back to DadAwesome. My name is Jeff Zaugg and today episode 419 I have Bart Scharrer coming at you. And this is an episode from the vault from three and a half years ago. I'll introduce him in just a moment here, but I want to invite you guys to the advance team. This is one of your last chances to join the advance team. The DadAwesome book is done. It's a collection of wisdom from eight years of this ministry. And I would love to send a free copy to you if you're willing to be a part of the advance team. Basically it means you'll write a review, you'll read about a third of it, you'll spend about an hour of reading time over the next six weeks here. The book launches March 17th, so you've got a little time, but you'll get it early, five to six weeks before anybody else. And then there's just a little bit of helping us advance the mission by sending some text messages to a few other dads and a few simple things. So not a huge lift, but an invitation to receive the book early and celebrate with us the mission and this kind of moment of capturing what we've learned in these over 400 podcast conversations. So we'd love to invite you to go to dadawesome.org/book to learn about and to join the advance team. And then we just ask for your mailing address and I'll shoot it your way. And then I'll follow up with some encouragement around taking those steps to help advance the mission.

    Okay, Bart Scharrer is a board member at DadAwesome. Three and a half years ago when I interviewed him, he wasn't a board member. So we pulled him onto the team. I've known him for over 20 years. Love him and his wife Amy, their daughters. He has young adult daughters and I for so long have looked to them for wisdom in fatherhood. So I'm thrilled three and a half years later to re-release this conversation. This is my bike ride conversation. We were miked up while on a bike ride together with Bart Scharrer.

    ---

    JEFF: Nine years ago, you and Amy invited Michelle and I over to your house, and there was a group of leaders from our church, and our daughter was two and a half weeks old, our first. I was a rookie dad. And you guys had us over and prayed for us. And in a moment of us being, we have no idea what we're doing, we started having daughters. And you kept on having daughters.

    BART: We kept going. You were like, we want to be like Bart and Amy Scharrer. And God answered that prayer times two. It was a double up. So we have four girls now. In that moment, you had your two daughters. This is nine years ago. So they were in junior high, high school. Is that about right?

    JEFF: That's right. How old are your girls now?

    BART: Just double everything.

    JEFF: Allison is 21 and Brooklyn is 19.

    BART: You are in the launched from high school, but just still in the college years. Is that right?

    JEFF: That's right.

    BART: Right, so technically we're empty nesters. It's just that with both of our girls and some health concerns, they're both able to stay at home. And it really works for us for them to stay at home with us. We actually love it. We're not anxious to see them leave.

    JEFF: It's funny because when you're like a rookie changing diapers like crazy and prayerfully just trying to make it through every day, every week, every month, it's like empty nesting is like someday our kids will launch to college and not be in our home. And at that point it sounds like that's a great idea, launch them. I already love your scenario of like staying closer and not being in any hustle. It sounds really good.

    BART: No, it is. It's kind of an interesting mindset because obviously we know so many people who are our stage of life and they are empty nesting or they were longing for empty nesting. It's the, I can't wait until they're gone. And you know, it's funny because we always learned, like we learned so many years ago and then we just sort of always kept it as a mindset of, we never want to be anxious for that stage. We always want to be appreciative of the today stage.

    You know, even as infants, even when our kids were really, really young, you know, you're like, oh, I just can't wait till they're sleeping through the night or I can't wait till they're out of diapers or I can't wait until they're whatever you think the next phase is that you think is going to make your life so much better. The danger of that, what we found and learned is you're going to, you could miss so many moments today. So now when our kids are adults and they're still at home, we're like, we're going to embrace, we're just embracing every day with, Lord, thank you for this opportunity. This may not have been what we would have planned or what they would have planned, but we're embracing it and thankful for just what it is. And we'll deal with, yeah, there'll be a someday, but like, I'm not going to, I'm not going to long for that someday at the expense of today.

    JEFF: The joy of driving up to your house this morning and giving your daughters hugs when I'm thinking back to them making cotton candy for me back, you know, seven, eight, nine years ago. And now these two women, young adult women are giving me hugs and excited to see me. Like, I cannot believe how fast.

    BART: And we still have the cotton candy machine so if you really, we could fire that thing up.

    JEFF: Well, I actually wanted to talk about that specific thing because I know it's a tool that has caused moments of connection in neighborhood, in church, and beyond. Why did you guys get that machine and how has it been used as a dad?

    BART: Yeah, so funny because it wouldn't have even been my first choice, but we were doing a garage sale back when we were living in Minneapolis. And it was just kind of like neighborhood sale and it's like, great, we get rid of stuff, right? And then my wife and the girls, they walked down the street to check out everybody else's junk piles.

    And then they come running back with, we got to go get this cotton candy machine. I'm like, what? The thing is huge. It takes up so much space. And I'm like decluttering. And they said, no, no, no. My wife is all about neighboring. She said, no, this is going to be for the neighbors. I'm like, I don't understand. Tell me. But this is her heart. And this is actually, it's been really transformative for our family. It's just.

    And it really is for the neighbors of, if we can do this, fire this thing up a few times, for the neighbor kids, it'll be a gathering point. And families will come out. And lo and behold, so many families would come out. It's like the ice cream truck.

    JEFF: I was going to say it's the kid equivalent of an espresso machine for adults.

    BART: It is. It's addicting just like espresso. And you can't stop talking about it and sharing it with others.

    But that goofy little garage sale purchase has been the source of, I can't even count how many relationships and friendships and conversations that started because it was an easy entry point.

    JEFF: Well, we copied your lead on the slack line. I know that was one of your things. And now we have a slack line that we're traveling with and that also draws people in. Except for instead of cavities being the danger, it's broken limbs, I guess, off a slack line.

    BART: So same concept, just you end the day either in ER or on the couch with a sick stomach.

    JEFF: Or two years later at the dentist.

    BART: Yeah, and that, yep. So let's go into what you've learned in the past nine years. So the advice you would have given me back when I had my little two week old first daughter in your house versus today, anything that you're like, this changed or this was a new aha in the last chapter of half of your fatherhood journey.

    JEFF: Take advantage of every day, you know, and just be grateful for all of that. Don't long for what's not here yet. You know, nine years later, well, we would double down on this one thing. And we see this play out today and it actually has become a filter that my girls will look through when it comes to guys they might be interested in, which is do they ask good questions? And so we had to teach our kids when they're really young how to ask a question. So like when they're really young and when most kids, again, it's very natural. It's not like it's bad, but they would hide behind your leg when they meet an adult. And so we always said, hey, listen, know, shy is not an excuse for rude. So you can look someone in the eye if they say, how are you, Allison?

    You say, I'm good, thank you for asking. And then you, we would teach them a follow up question. And how are you? Or we'd be going over to someone's house and we'd sit in the car for an extra minute or two before we, you know, go up to the front door and say, hey, now remember, here's a couple of things. When you go in, look people in the eye, ask a question.

    You don't have to ask a hundred questions, but ask a question, care, lean in, think about the other person. And that just started the process of, you know, being inquisitive. And now, you know, now they've mastered the art form of ask, like they ask more questions. They can learn so much in a matter of a few minutes of just asking a few questions, but it's, it's amazing how many people don't. I meet adults today all the time.

    I was just with somebody for almost an hour the other day and I don't think they asked me one question in an hour. And I'm like, okay, well, one, I would never hire that person. But again, so in teaching our kids, we just realized that unlocked a whole different level of confidence and interest. And so now they can, I mean, obviously they're adults now, but they can carry on a conversation with just about anybody. But if there's a guy, and that guy doesn't know how to ask questions? Kinda done. No. It's a no-go.

    BART: Go into that topic a little further around current chapter of dad life and things that, man, we did this and we're thankful because it's helping in this season that we're in today. So fostering the inquisitive, the asking questions, the modeling, coaching, preloading, I love that. Anything else that you're like, this is maybe something that we're seeing that...

    JEFF: Yeah, I for sure, 100% because I go back to our kids love the church and how that's displayed is their level of, they love to be serving at the church. So this is something that, you know, this is something that Amy really helped initiate with the girls when she was with them, you know, as a stay at home mom. But even when we're all together on weekends or in the evenings, it'd be like, okay, what can we do for our neighbors? Can we go rake their lawn? Can we shovel their driveway? Can we go bring them cookies? What are things we could do to serve our neighbors? But then also serving in the church. So many times we would bring them with us in different serve opportunities at the local church.

    And just got them around really great, fun people. Because you think about the people who volunteer at churches are some of the most phenomenal people on the planet. They give of their time selflessly on behalf of others. And we're just like, you know what? We want our kids as early as possible to be around some of the world's best people.

    And so serving at the church really provided multiple benefits. One, it was kind of fostering within them a heart for others and a heart to serve. And we can do hard things and we can do inconvenient things. But the value of who they got to be around, it was incredible. The influence of, I mean, at this stage, probably hundreds, if not thousands of people over the years that have helped influence and model like a heart of serving to our kids.

    BART: Without any like needing to arrange mentorship or coaching. You just simply chose to serve and you got the benefit of who they were surrounded by.

    JEFF: Exactly right. Because those who serve in the church, I mean, they're the heartbeat of the church anyway. And we're like, I want my kids being around them. And so that was just really easy to, well, let's just get them there. But today, now they've created an ownership and it's their own value of they find life in serving. And where can I help? Where can I serve?

    And it's really been a beautiful thing to watch them as adults really own that.

    ---

    JEFF: I'm interrupting this conversation with a quick announcement. My dad wrote a book. It's titled Dad and it comes out March 17th. This is what Vince Miller had to say about the book:

    "Wake up to the moments that matter. This book is full of wisdom earned through real conversation, real scars, and real joy. If you want to build a fatherhood that's intentional, spirit-led, and rooted in identity as a loved son of God, this will guide you there. A needed gift for every dad today."

    My dad would love to send you a free copy of the book if you join the advance team. Just go to dadawesome.org/book to learn more about it and sign up. Now, let's get back to the conversation.

    ---

    BART: When it comes to, we think our life's gonna look like this, and then, it turned out like that. The dad life has those moments. But specifically when a child or a spouse walks through a, like, we don't, we just don't know how this is gonna go in a medical situation or a health situation. I know you guys have had a few rounds of really, and you're currently still trusting God for, like, man, what's the way out of this or the way through this? Can you just talk about a little bit of your journey and what you've learned and the heartache and the moments?

    JEFF: Yeah, that's a great question. Well, I think it started, it probably started more than 10 years ago with our youngest, Brooklyn. And actually both girls got sick at sort of the same time and were out of school for months. This is back in Minneapolis. And so it kind of launched us into this discovery process of going to see almost every doctor possible. We tried so many different things to try to discover what's going on.

    Long story short on that, come to find out that Brooklyn had or has, you know, it's just a really weak immune system. So she has a lot of autoimmune issues. Lyme disease being a primary one, although it's really, it's kind of layered. Multiple things that are kind of in play with her. But what that meant for her is a lot of life missing out. She missed out on a lot of school, tons of activities.

    And so we had to learn how to navigate that. And so that was a 10 year, 11 year journey. And then just 18 months ago, our oldest daughter, Allison, she had started experiencing these, we didn't know it at the time, but they were called focal seizures with her eyes and her head kind of head deviations. And then it turned into a full blown grand mal seizure.

    Which we witnessed and it was by far the scariest thing I've ever seen. Like it was horrendous. And so for the last 18 months, we've been in this journey now with her trying to discover what's the right, you know, treatment medication to help her sort of stabilize the seizures and yet be able to function in life as a 21 year old in school.

    And that has been, like it has been really, yeah, for sure it's been a challenge. But one of the things we've learned and we have to practice all the time, which is it is day to day living. And it's the, Lord, I trust You today. I have to start every day with, Lord, I trust You. And it's not just a blanket statement. It's, no, I have to sit in it every day realizing, Lord, I absolutely trust You.

    I trust you with my life. I trust you with my marriage. I trust you with my kids. I trust you with my job. I trust you with the church. I trust you. And that means I can trust you. And so you're not absent, God. You're not far away. I have questions and I would love for my daughters, both of them, to be healed today. So I pray for it. I pray for healing. I pray for restoration, I pray for the right even medical advice. Pray for that all the time in the today. But I'm thankful for today. So I look at it and say, what can we be thankful for today and be hopeful for tomorrow? Tomorrow is where the relief is, you know, but today it's we may not get it, we might get it, but I'm going to be grateful for all the things I'm able to do with my kids. I'm going to be thankful for that. It could be so much worse. She's not in a hospital. She's able to go to school. Yep, my wife has to drive 40 minutes and stay down at school in close proximity within about a mile or two of her. So in case she has a seizure, in case she's not feeling good, in case something goes on with her, my wife is close. But if those are the minimal sacrifices we have to make. Okay. You know, I'll borrow the phrase that I learned through Venture years ago, but I love it. It's the, hey, we can do hard things. And honestly, some of it is not as hard as I would make it to be because there's still so much to be thankful for. And so I live in the day to day, but also the promise and hope for tomorrow. And I just live in that.

    And it's a daily, that to me is part of my daily exercise spiritually. It's no different than working out every day. It's no different than I read my Bible every day and pray every day. It's no different than I eat every day or I brush my teeth every day. It's just, that's it. And if I don't stay there, then I could get sideways emotionally.

    BART: From an outside friend, mentee looking in when you had to rip all the carpet out of your house. Am I remembering that right?

    JEFF: You did remember that right.

    BART: Like the stress and the frustration of I'm trying to lead and professionally do what I need to do here. I'm trying to be a dad. I'm spending money I didn't expect I was going to have to spend. I'm seeing specialists. I just feel like the setup from the outside looks like so much unexpected crazy, but yet when I'm with your family, I sense such like a settled, calm, thankful closeness. So I wonder if they're attached. Do you think that going through hard things and the like level that your family loves each other is attached?

    JEFF: I would say it goes back to these deep lessons and priorities that I suppose, and I'm telling you, I learned this from my wife. So I cannot take credit for it. I've been a beneficiary of my wife's heart of choose joy always, be thankful always. So we're just gonna really live in that discipline of there's always something to be thankful for, which isn't just this pie in the sky, pretend like nothing bad is happening. It is the way through, though. It's the discipline that even in the midst of super hard, challenging, emotional, stressful, all that stuff is still there. But the way through, what I've learned from practice, I learned from my wife in her modeling. And I think our kids just live in this now, too.

    Because we've just practiced it for so many years, is, I'm going to start with gratitude. Gratitude is the way through. Because if I don't live in gratitude, it's so easy for me to live in complaint, jealousy, envy, all these other, know, it's all the negative fruit of...

    It gets all self-centered because as soon as I start complaining, what I'm complaining about is my life should be better. I should have more. It's not fair. I should, I expect better. Whatever, you know, it's all me centered and none of that stuff is biblical. Right? Jesus never promises that stuff.

    But what Jesus calls us to is gratitude and He calls us to other-centric. It's always about, so it's always that battle for what are the disciplines that help me stay other-centric and not put me at the center of it all? And gratitude is one of them. It's probably one of the best ones. That and serving. You know, those two, I'm telling you, it'll literally change your life. And so I guess I look at my girls today and I say, I look at them and they are, they are mini Amy's. They have taken on all of Amy's heart, mindset, her, just the way she lives, the way she thinks, the way she interacts with people. And everybody benefits because they're more like Amy than me. I mean, that's a massive win for everybody. But as a family, these are just things we just said we're going to commit to, like, so we're not going to complain about just the stuff that we feel like is, you know, we'll pray about things that are hard for sure. We're like, Lord, we pray about stuff all the time. Never stop praying. But always going to be grateful and trust Him. So if I trust Him, that means I trust His timing.

    BART: If I was to sit down with your two daughters and just ask them, what are some things your dad does or did that you're just really thankful he did these things? So going a little more granular of like any specific, can you think of any specifics you think they would share with me? If I'm just like, tell me some things he's done that you're really thankful for. So I'm going on that side of positive.

    JEFF: That's a great question. I would hope, I would guess that they, and you know, I guess it's a hope, that they would see that even though I worked, that I was present and like present physically by investing in their lives of all the years of coaching. Just like, I want to be part of that. And I know that's not practical for everybody, but it was.

    We had the opportunity to do that and it helped me stay close to my girls during those really, really fun years of sports. Being present physically, relationally, you know, like just like stepping into their world, not just forcing them into mine, which it's hard, but trying to keep them a priority.

    And I would hope they would say that I kept them a priority over church.

    BART: Yeah, there would be for sure.

    JEFF: And that they never had to play second to church. Even though I did, you know, I've been a pastor a long time and, you know, but I think they would say that.

    BART: And now if I sat with Amy and I asked her to share the opposite, where did Bart miss it? Where did he stumble as a dad and need to learn or grow forward from? Anything she would say to me?

    JEFF: I think the list would be really long. I think she would be kind and only give you like a couple. I think top of the list things would be, okay, wherever we decided was going to be a stake in the sand value that we were going to live by, that's always where the enemy, that's where the battle is. So when I wasn't practicing, including them, when I would go a little bit quiet in processing in my head and not invite them into my struggles. I think those would be the things that I could introduce a lot of tension into my family by my own temperament and by, you know, if I would just, you know, ruminate on things in my mind or if I wasn't actively engaged, you know, in the conversation, if I was too distracted by whatever.

    So I could control the temperature in the house that way, which is really sad and scary, but beautiful if I would practice the discipline. Right? So it's, you know, and I'm always going to be the last one to know because I can deceive myself. You know, the scripture is pretty clear about that. So I would always need Amy to help me stay present. And she would. She would always do a really good job of like, hey Bart, what's going on? What's happening, you look a little distracted right now or how come you're not talking or what's going on in your head. And so she would do a really good job of trying to pull that stuff out of me because I think she knew it would absolutely affect the girls. So I can speak about all these values, the practice of them, super hard, right? But I also learned on a spiritual level, that's where the battle is.

    Anything you set as a value in your life, whether it's your relationship with Jesus, your wife, your marriage, your kids, your work. The enemy wants to destroy that, especially when you declare this is how we're going to live. He's going to go after that. And so it forces us to constantly be on guard. You don't have to be afraid of it, but we have to be ready for it. And so, yeah, Amy's list would be times when I was weak or I was distracted. Those are definitely the shortcomings.

    BART: You mentioned you set the temperature, the climate of the house, and I'm thinking immediately about me and a desire, something I've even shared with some close friends recently, of I want to just be more gentle with my eyes, with my tone, with my words. I just want to be more gentle when things that are frustrating come up. Yet, I'm not sure what that looks like to the discipline. When you said, I'm the one that's gonna set the temperature, any ideas to just kinda coach me on my ability to set the temperature and living by the disciplines? When you say disciplines, what might that look like with gentleness?

    JEFF: Yeah, by setting the temperature, I think our wives do the exact same thing. But when we, so if I come home and let's just say I'm angry or frustrated or whatever, whatever happens to be the emotion, if I'm not careful, I could, I could take that same emotion and I could, that emotion could impact my entire family, right? It could change. And it does change the sort of the temperature in the room. But if I'm aware of it, the more I'm aware and knowing that, hey, maybe I need to, OK, I've been frustrated. So what does it look like to put on, to literally put on? So the apostle Paul talks about this in his letters. He uses this very activating language called put on these things.

    Right? It's like putting on clothing. So I have to very intentionally, if I think about, I want to be more, I don't want to be angry. So I'm going to take anger off. I'm going to take that jacket of anger off and I'm going to put on a sweatshirt of humility. I'm going to put on a sweatshirt of grace. I'm going to put on a, you know, a t-shirt or a pair of sweatpants of love or kindness is the word you were looking at. So there's an intentionality of an awareness... It's about self-awareness, which is super key to everything. And this is why our spouse can be the best thing for us, because they can help when we're not fully aware of what we're wearing. They can help us with like, take that off and put on kindness.

    Until you learn how to recognize it in yourself. I mean, that's kind of a little bit out there. More practically, though, I think it is about how do you become more aware? So if you are sensing you're heated up about something, you're angry or you're... It could even be your facial expression or the tone in which you're speaking. So what helps you become aware of that?

    Is that something Michelle could help you with? Is that something your kids can help you with? Is that something that you just have to work out on your own? But I think the second you're aware of you're not in a good emotional place, then it is a matter of putting on, taking the lessons from Paul in his letters and saying, no, put on the clothing you want to be. Whether you feel like it or not, that's the discipline.

    Because discipline is just practice. It's keep practicing, keep practicing, keep practicing to be the person you want to be.

    BART: Yeah, the phrase practice also is an inviting, it's a gracious term versus I failed and I've like, you know, it's practice.

    JEFF: It's because it's not pass fail. It's movement towards the person. You know, a phrase I picked up. I kind of, I don't know. I don't even know how I came up with it. It probably someone helped me with it, but I've learned it a lot over the last and I've used it a lot over this last like say year and a half. And it's the what's the best version of me? Best version of Bart. And the more I think about what's best version of Bart, how do I thrive as a husband, as a dad, as a pastor, as a leader, whatever, then that helps me, gives me a target of what I'm working towards, what I'm practicing towards. And I just think sometimes as dads or as husbands, we have a hard time visualizing, what does a good dad look like? But the more I can figure, if I can think about best version of a dad or best version of Bart and what would that look like in fatherhood and husband and you know whatever role I'm in. That helps me. Now I can give me a target. It gives me something that I'm working towards. Right? Because most people are willing to put in probably some effort but effort alone, but effort in the wrong direction is going to be fruitless.

    BART: Yeah, I love that. And you're not comparing to somebody else who's a rock star. I don't have to compare myself to Bart Scharrer. I can just do the best version of me. I can move towards that. Well, I wanted to maybe land here. And it's, I'm pretty sure everyone listening knows by now that we're on a bike ride because the wind has gusted a few times. But think forward 10 years, 10 or 15 years, both your daughters have married some awesome dudes and they're now dads. These son-in-laws are now rookie dads in the first handful of years of being dads and they're out for a bike ride with you and they're like, tell us. They're like, and they're calling you dad. Dad, tell us, how can I be a good dad? And this is recorded so they might actually be listening to these words of advice and I'll have you pray over them in a moment. But what is it that you'd say, hey, and I know we've hit a lot of topics already, but what would you want to share to those guys who are hungry to learn and impressed in and be intentional dads.

    JEFF: Create your hill to die on values. There's probably just a couple values that should live on that first hill. Love Jesus. Love Jesus with everything you have. Then love your family with everything you have. And in that, you're going to find there's rhythms to keep you strong. So with your family, it's going to be serve them. Serve at 100 percent and don't expect anything in return. That's sort of the heartbeat behind marriage. But, you know, so there's disciplines and practical things in that. But from a value standpoint, you do those two things and I couldn't imagine like not having just a wonderful life. Not easy. Yeah. Because that's not the goal is not ease. Right. But those things, because you can control those things. You can control how much you love Jesus. You can control how much you love your family. And it's the foundation of it. Because if you do those things, you're going to get the rest of life figured out pretty easily.

    BART: So we're pedaling up a like nine or ten percent grade to finish our ride. And while we pedal, you pray for, pray for me, pray for each of the dads, but specifically pray for your two son-in-laws and for their fatherhood journey.

    JEFF: Love it. Well, Jesus, I thank you so much for the gift of this day and how fun it is to even spend time with my friend Jeff, who I haven't seen in a year and comes out and we're on a bike ride. I want to thank you for that. What a gift. But Lord, I pray for Jeff. I pray for his heart, for you, his heart for his family, his heart for men and his desire to see men thrive and just fall in love with you. Lord, I pray for him and his ministry, his family, his marriage. God, would you bring such divine clarity to him as a husband, father, leader. Lord, would you give him favor with people, and favor with people he's yet to meet. Lord, I pray for this ministry and just the impact of hundreds of guys who even jumped on bikes this last year or will still do it this year. But how incredible is that? But God, I pray, continue to fan into flame, not just what's in his heart, but just the fruit of this ministry. Lord, may his best days be in front of him. May he see what you have for him, for his family, for this ministry. Lord, I pray for dads, especially. Lord, I do pray for these two things, that they would fall in love with you, just recklessly in love with you. And out of that, just be so madly in love with their family. And it would show up in the way they serve and the way they give sacrificially to their families. And then out of that, just it'd be an expression for you in the rest of their lives. Lord, I even pray very specifically for the two men who I believe you have for my girls. Would you guard their hearts, protect their minds? Would you foster right now just an absolute love and desire for you into their hearts, or may they continue in their love for you. Lord, keep them safe. Keep them safe from harm. But God, plant purpose deep in their hearts. Purpose to serve you, to serve your kingdom, to serve in the church, to serve others. Lord, may that be just a reflection of their love for you so that they will be fully prepared to love my girls and bike with me someday. So I pray for that. I'm gonna trust you for that. Lord, I'm so thankful for this day and this opportunity, this conversation, this friendship and the future we get to talk about. We love you, Jesus. Amen.

    ---

    JEFF: Thank you so much for joining us for episode 419, a replay from the vault episode and I am so grateful for the wisdom shared. It's all going to be cataloged, organized with the key action steps, key quotes, the transcripts, and would love to send you to dadawesome.org/podcast to check all the show notes out. I want to also just invite you one more time to join the advance team for the DadAwesome book. Go to dadawesome.org/book to learn about that team and to sign up with your mailing address so I can send you a free copy about six weeks before anyone else. So you're invited to join that team. And then lastly, I want to remind you, let's be dads who take action. Intent is one thing, doesn't actually change anything, doesn't glorify God. Action, being dads of action, what's one thing from today's conversation that you're gonna put into action? What's one next step in pursuing the hearts of your kids and leading your family? So praying for you guys as you pray into that one step and then tell somebody, text a buddy, tell somebody your next step because that's where you get traction. So praying for you guys. Thanks for being DadAwesome.

    • "Gratitude is the way through. If I don't live in gratitude, it's so easy to live in complaint."

    • "Don't long for someday at the expense of today. There's so much to be thankful for right now."

    • "Shy is not an excuse for rude. Look people in the eye and ask a question."

    • "I can control how much I love Jesus. I can control how much I love my family."

    • "What's the best version of me? That gives me a target for what I'm practicing towards."

 

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418 | Celebrating 8 Years of DadAwesome: Minivan Miracles, Ripping Out Fences, and the Power of Unlikely Friendships (Craig Allen Cooper)