414 | The Most Important 9 Minutes of Your Kid's Day, Choosing Contentment, and Lessons from Sourdough (Dan Tinquist)
Episode Description
What if the most impactful moments with your kids are just nine minutes a day? In this episode, fatherhood coach Dan Tinquist shares how morning, afternoon, and evening connection points can transform your relationship with your kids. You'll also hear why over-teaching actually backfires, how to build a family culture where your kids feel safe to fail, and the surprising parallels between making sourdough bread and raising kids.
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Dan Tinquist is a fatherhood coach, host of the Confidad Podcast, and creator of the Time Well Spent Method and Family Culture Framework. He coaches dads from around the world to move from surviving to thriving in their homes. Dan and his wife have four boys and live in Minnesota.
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The most important nine minutes of your kid's day are the first three when they wake up, the three when you reconnect after school or work, and the last three before bed.
If every moment is a teachable moment, you will teach them nothing. Sometimes the best thing you can do is pray instead of lecture.
We don't rest from our work—we work from our rest. Contentment today fuels driven action tomorrow.
Building a family culture where kids feel safe to fail means they'll run to you when they mess up, not from you.
Planning your year with your family—not for them—creates ownership and adventure everyone can look forward to.
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Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618
Dan Tinquist's Fatherhood Coaching: https://confidad.com/
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Jeff: Welcome back to DadAwesome. Guys, today is episode 414. I have Dan Tinquist joining me. It's Christmas Day. So this episode is dropping on December 25th. Of course, many of you are not listening to it on Christmas Day, which is great. I pray that you are enjoying your kids. You're having an amazing Christmas week. We're thankful to always release episodes every week, DadAwesome, for nearly eight years. In fact, we're celebrating just in about three or four weeks. We're celebrating our eight year birthday as a ministry.
But today, so much practical, helpful to shorter episodes. It's about a half hour long and Dan Tinquist is joining us. Let me quickly invite you as we're praying into next year, as we're praying into the year 2026 and areas to turn the dial of intentionality, I want to invite you guys to prayerfully apply to join the DadAwesome Accelerator. We've already completed and graduated 10 cohorts. This is about eight to 10 dads at a time. It's a six week sprint of everything that we've learned in the eight years of DadAwesome compressed into the core six discoveries. You'll have homework every week. You'll be a part of this cohort. There'll be encouragement and prayer and helpful guidance. And I'm praying that many of you prayerfully apply to join our cohort that's starting on January 14th. So we're kicking this off the third week of the new year and want to invite you guys to go to dadawesome.org/coaching to learn more about that.
Okay, back to our Christmas day episode. So Dan Tinquist, he is a fatherhood coach. He has developed the Time Well Spent Method. He's developed the Family Culture Framework, these tools that he coaches dads from all around the world. He coaches dads with these frameworks. He's a dad of four boys. We had a delightful conversation, so much of what I've learned and he's learned. We're like syncing up like, yes, in fact, we'll probably do more things together in the future. So excited to introduce you guys to Dan. He leads the Confidad Podcast and we'll link in the show notes information on his coaching he offers along with his podcast and some of these frameworks. I am so grateful Christmas day, December 25th, 2025 that you are joining us for today's conversation. This is episode 414 with Dan Tinquist.
Jeff: Dad of four girls connecting with a dad of four boys. And are we in the same chapter or are your boys a little older? Remind me the chapter.
Dan: 13, 11, nine, and seven the day after Christmas. We're almost to the like, you know, every two years I can just roll off my tongue, but right now 13, 11, nine, and six, so.
Jeff: Yeah. Okay. So you're a chapter older slightly. I've been looking forward to this conversation. One of actually our graduates of our DadAwesome Accelerator is the one who connected. Perry's like, you've got to connect with Dan and dads who are creating content and gathering, coaching and imparting what we're learning imperfectly, of course, but there's just so few dads who are making waves in this area that I just wanted to celebrate and get a chance to learn from you today, Dan.
Dan: It is a deep privilege and I hope we have some fun today and learn something from each other as we spur one another on.
Jeff: That's it. That's it. And let's start here though, a chapter, a story, something in your dad life with your boys that made you have an aha, like a learning, a discovery. Any just recent story that you're like, man, I'm still growing, I'm still learning. And this was an aha moment in fatherhood.
Dan: I'll say this, our oldest, he's 13, he turned 13 in June, finally have a teenager. I heard for years, everyone's like, oh, just wait till they're teenagers, and just dreading it, and I was like, no, I rebuke that. I want my kids to feel the safest, they run to me when they get in trouble, not from me, and that was not my story, because it just wasn't. I love my parents, but I was scared of them when I did something wrong.
Kind of staying consistent and predictable with the way that we're helping guide and put boundaries and guardrails up for our teenager. And we were having this conversation the other day with him and the 11 year old. And the 11 year old was just struggling, put it that way. And I said, this isn't the culture that I want in this house. And I don't think it's a culture you want, sarcasm, teasing, all the stuff that just like out in the world, it happens. I get it, they all four play hockey. Chirping is a big thing in hockey culture of using your words to try get under their skin. I was like, that can happen on the ice as long as you're learning how to still be respectful. But at home, let's create a safe space for us not to feel like we have to show up as someone who we aren't at home.
And so I was kind of challenging my 11-year-old on that, and my 13-year-old says, "Dad, no, I feel safe here. I feel safe to make mistakes, and I feel safe to share with you what's actually going on in my heart. And so like know that that's true for me." Even as we're trying and fighting for building a culture where that, like that other stuff kind of trying to come in at all angles and make a different culture that we're not building, become the reality.
And so I loved the moment of leadership for him, because as dads, we always feel like it's top down leadership, right? Like I have to say it and then say it again and then say it again and model it and all these things. And in that moment, it taught me again that I get to lean on my kids in their strengths and allow them to lead out in building culture. Because if it's just top down, then I'm just a CEO and I'm not a dad. So empowering my kids, the most important people that we lead, our kids, empowering them to have leadership in those moments and literally live interdependence, right? We don't want codependency where we're just their buddies. We don't want independence, even though that's what America says. We want interdependence. And that means allowing our strengths to be our strengths, our kids' strengths to be their strengths, and letting that become the milieu of our family. We're celebrating each other's strengths and holding each other up in where we're weak.
Jeff: It sounds like your 13 year old actually called out that, that's true. I feel that even maybe your 11 year old might not have been feeling it in the moment or you're helping your 11 year old feel and reinforce. You had that like second wave from your oldest. Did I capture that right?
Dan: Yeah, yeah, I think so. And like that's a celebration moment because you rewind to this summer just a few months ago and it was not the case, right? I'm home with him in the summertime, my wife works full time and man, I was like butting heads and I'm like, is anything gonna happen where we're on the same road, we're moving in the same direction together? And it was a lot of struggle, lot, a lot, a lot of struggle. And then this moment, this glimpse of light where you're like, yes, he's getting it, right? He's getting it.
Jeff: I just want to add a second story to start our time together. Just last night, having a moment where my oldest and my third oldest were just like, it was not going well. And my second oldest, she is nine right now. And she said, "Hey, I learned this summer at camp, I learned that before we sleep, we should sweep." And she basically just shared a concept of forgiveness, of letting go, of tender, like just to move back towards soft hearts. And I won't unpack the depths of it, but she brought up what led to a tear-filled moment of my third oldest climbing down from the bunk bed, giving a hug and forgiving her sister for something that she was just really upset about.
And I'm watching this play out, kind of like what you're describing as far as a moment when I am seeing leadership in my daughter. And I'm like, this is what now the 40 minutes before that did not go well. Clean up, brushing teeth didn't go well, getting jammies didn't go, nothing. I came out last night like, such a tiny sliver of time with deep impact to me, impact to all the girls, it's just all around. And I know this is part of your heart, is that it's actually, sometimes it's not about all of the hours and hours, it's about the minutes and you're purposely in our time and bringing the tenderness, bringing the words, bringing our, and some of this ties with your See, Hear, Know, but part of it also is your other framework around just like, man, we can bring time and purposefulness as dads. Could you, what does that stir up in you to share back my way?
Dan: If we were to spend every single possible moment with our kids, and they all be good moments, right? It still would never be enough. Like none of it would satiate us. Like I've heard parents, like empty nesters say to me, if I could just turn back the clock, if I could just stop the clock. And the reality is like you can't. There's no, that's just wishful thinking and aspiration, I guess, of like, and there's regret there a little bit.
And as I hear the wisdom of those before me, those a few blocks or miles ahead of me, I go, you know what, I can't live with myself if I get to that stage of my life and say, I wish I would have. Because I'm in thick of it. And I get to say, instead of, I wish I would have, I get to say, no, I'm gonna choose to stop myself intentionally, take action every day to go, okay, I'm offloading work, I'm offloading the stress, I'm offloading everything else.
And part of that is the practice of like, how do we spend time with God so we allow him to show up? We cast our cares so that we can then embody that same type of heart of the father to our own kids, right? But if we don't take the time to actually do that heart work, it's really hard to show up in these moments in the day.
Where I developed this thing, you know, when you're coaching and you gotta create systems and frameworks and like I'm super, I'm just an organic, like grassroots kind of guy that's like, this is what I want and this is how I get there and I'm just gonna grind until I get there and I don't need to write down, take notes, whatever. But like we had built this family culture and as I went back and I analyzed and I tried to create a clear system and framework, it was clear that every morning, afternoon, and evening, we would spend intentional time between my wife and I with each of our kids one-on-one.
And like, as I thought about it, it's not always talking, because that's a dad's like go-to, right? Talk, talk, talk, talk, teach, teach, teach, teach, teach. And we all know, like it's better caught than taught. And so, you know, if we are gonna become a student of our kids, what do we have to do to know who they are, to study them, to see who God has created them to be?
And so that's where that See, Hear, Know thing comes from because if we spend time seeing them, like observing them and seeing them in their element, understanding what books do they read, what characters do they identify with, all that stuff, hearing them, like hearing the depths of their heart, not just like, did you have a good day, but like training ourselves to ask open-ended questions that crack open that and create a safe and predictable and consistent curiosity in their lives where they go, daddy actually wants to know about me, the little things, the simple things and the big things, right?
So seeing and hearing and then knowing is just like that intuition there where we have to slow down and stop ourselves long enough to go, I see this and I hear this. What does this tell me about who God has made my kid to be? And how does that frame and shape how I'm showing up with and for them in these moments, right? So being able to offload all the other stuff and to show up with energy to be in these moments. And when you say minutes, I mean like minutes, bro. Like five minutes, three times a day, and let's shoot for 80%, right? Like even if it's one minute, that's a win. Like one minute of pausing and looking at your kid and just observing and giving gratitude for the person that God has made and entrusted you with. Like that will make a huge difference in how we show up in those moments. And those moments become memories and those memories become our life, right? Showing up for those moments really is how we can get to empty nests and not say, I wish I would have, but I'm so glad I did.
Jeff: And you're saying that actually the cadence of a day, you're looking to, in a one-on-one moment, you're looking for the See, Hear, Know expressions in just little fractional minutes.
Dan: Yes, absolutely. And I think it's funny. So I developed this and put it out and was working it through it with a couple of guys. And then, of course, the algorithm brings me lots of parenting research on Instagram. And I come across this Estonian-American child psychologist named Dr. Jack Panksepp. And he says the most important nine minutes of your kid's day are the first three when they wake up, the next three when you reconnect after work and school or however that works if you homeschool or whatever, but like afternoon reconnection, and the last three minutes before they fall asleep.
And I'm like, not like this isn't to make, I mean, yeah, sure, it adds credibility, but like we were living the proof of that where my eight year old who's now 11, we're driving home, he's staring out the window at the moon and I like, you know, it's like 5 p.m. in Minnesota and the moon's up and it's just pitch black. And he looks at me, he goes, "Dad, what even is the point of Earth?" I was like, tell me more about that, buddy. Like, I'm buying myself time.
And he's like, "Well, know, we're born, hopefully do a good family, grow up, get an education, good job, maybe get married and have kids. That's what God has for us. And then you work for a lot of years, you might retire, and then you die. What's the point?"
And I'm so glad, I'm so glad that we, and this is not because I'm brilliant or anything. It's just because, well, my wife's a therapist, so I got a cheat code there. The culture that we built in our home, it not only invites those questions, but there's a curiosity and a bent towards like, God has something he's up to, let's find out. Right? And so that was a good like reflection of holy cow, okay, we can create a culture where our kids are growing up, not just consumers and doers, but actually like human beings who are known and seen and heard, and when that's their lived experience, and we say, I love you, that lived experience is now matching the words coming out of our mouth. And that matters. That matters.
Jeff: Dan, my heart, when you shared the statistic around these three minute chunks in a day, is, oh, I'm treasuring. My girls know that I treasure those last three minutes, but there's two other chunks. So like the first three minutes, do they feel, because I have the time, I have the time. It's not that. To treasure and connect with their hearts those first three minutes. And then the come back from work, those, like I feel like if I had to rank myself today, like there's a lot of calibration that I can do to bring more of my heart and more of them feeling seen, heard, known in those two chunks. So there's an immediate kind of aha.
I'd love to hear a little bit on the failing side, fathers who feel like they're failing. I'm telling you, I see two areas that I need to change, but I'm not using the word fail on myself right now. But the stumbling, the failing that actually, like we can discourage ourselves and carry shame and how would you kind of address that side about a dad who feels like, I'm missing the mark?
Dan: You know, I think not only can unrealistic expectations always lead to resentment in relationship, right? In a marriage, in parenting, in friendship. But what about the relationship with ourselves? And so practicing self-forgiveness, and like, Dr. Jake Smith Jr., he's a dear friend of mine, he was on your podcast, and I believe you guys talked about attunement.
Jeff: A two-minute yes.
Dan: When Jake talks about attunement, right? Talks about containment and repair. Meaning containment as we show up as our full selves and repair is because we're showing up as our full selves, we're gonna hurt each other, right? And this is very closely related to what we call like secure attachment, which means rupture, repair, rebuild. And I think the rebuild or the repairing is a really important step, especially when it comes to like, and I'm kind of mixing metaphors and stuff here. But like if we are going to love our neighbor as we love ourselves, we have to be okay and skilled in how we set expectations for ourselves.
His mercies are new every single morning. When's the last time you lived a perfect day? I've already screwed up today. But if I put this drowning expectation and this weight on my chest that I will show up perfectly, I will never show up to the potential that God has for me. Because he's not expecting us to show up perfect. Yes, he says, be perfect, therefore as your heavenly father is perfect, right? But I don't think that has anything to do with reaching perfection as much as it has to do with trusting that he has something to build into us.
And so when we fail as a father, what's your practice? Father, I'm sorry, I've sinned and he's forgiving us, but like, do you have other dads to talk to? 1 John 1:9 says, if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just, and He forgives us our sins and cleanses us from all unrighteousness. So we are clean, forgiven, loved, all this stuff. The vertical is amazing. James 5, confess your sins one to another that you might be healed. And I think living the lie of independence in America says, I should be able to do this on my own. I have what it takes to be a great dad. No, you don't because you're trying to do it alone. But when we link up arms and we're together, that's where the power is actually released because we are starting to heal. We are starting to repair. We are starting to not just always go back to the shame and guilt cycle.
We go, yeah, you know what? I stopped myself in the middle of yelling at my kids the other day. Yeah. Because I said, you don't deserve this. I don't want this. Can we all just reset for five minutes and come back and talk about this? Like you still hurt them and I still hurt you. I can't erase that. But I can stop myself in the moment and go, harshness and violence is not going to bear the fruit that we want. I'm sorry. Let's reset and in five minutes we'll come back.
And like, you know, we teach them breath exercises and tapping and all these other things to help their like hemispheres of their brain cross and like integrate mind, body, soul, spirit, like all of that together. And it's a, you know, it's imperfect, it's clunky, but like, man, fatherhood's a heavy weight. It's a big like duffel bag with only a couple of handles on it that we're supposed to carry. And I'm trying to help guys and help other guys grab a hold of the handles that are theirs to carry so we can bear this burden together.
Jeff: Dan, I really appreciate how you focus on contentment today, driven for growth tomorrow, kindness in failure. And that's, we just talked about the kindness in failure side. I just think a tactic of the accuser of Satan is gonna be to get us to miss it in all three of those. We're anxious today, right? We're apathetic about tomorrow because look at the past and what can I do in the future? Can I really change anything? I feel like I'm failing. And then kindness in failure. Like I said, we're harsh with shame. All the things we just talked about. Would you expand beyond just the kindness in failure that you just processed and hit on those first two for a moment of contentment with today and driven to grow tomorrow.
Dan: When I was working with a group of five dads a while ago, and I talked about contentment, I mean, he's a super successful entrepreneur, he's a believer, father of three, right in the thick of early years. They had just had another baby, I think the youngest was four months old. And he's like, contentment is a cuss word in my entrepreneurial circle. We can never be content. Because as soon as I'm content, I can no longer keep producing.
So what that started speaking to me was that like, is your identity tied up in your production? And for so many entrepreneur dads, it is. And interestingly enough, when I talk about See, Hear, and Know, and I ask dads these questions, when do you feel most seen? When do you feel most heard? And when do you feel the most deeply known? A lot of them don't know the answer.
Part of it is because I think it's this subconscious drive that if I just make enough money, get enough success, do the right things, accolades, whatever, success, I will be seen, heard, and known, and therefore fulfilled. But like, let's step back and like, at Jesus' baptism, before he does any ministry, the Father speaks identity over Him. And He says, this is My Son whom I love. In Him I am deeply pleased. And we bear that? We get that?
So if we actually spend time letting that sink into not just our minds and intellectual ascent to belief, but like sinking into our hearts and go, man, when you see me, you see Jesus. And it doesn't matter if I make a million dollars this month or negative two, it doesn't matter. It does matter, but not to my identity.
So choosing contentment is a choice today. And that means embracing and living out of that identity. I believe I have what I need today to show up the way God has asked me to show up today. Right? Like the first commandment was be fruitful and multiply. That's the first thing he said to us. And that just doesn't mean have a bunch of kids like you and I did. It means bearing fruit in the world, bringing forth kingdom light in the world. But what's he say before we start that? Rest with me. Day seven, right? This is why Jewish Sabbath begins on Friday night at sundown. Because we begin with rest and we work from our rest. We don't rest from our work. We have to, I gotta earn my rest.
This is all part of this, can we choose to be content? And it isn't something that's like, it's very hard to do today. But can you continue to journal and talk and pray and say, God, give me contentment today. Help me find my identity solely in you and your work and who you say I am and not in how I've produced or accomplished today.
Because then the drivenness of tomorrow means I'm a human being loved and cared for by God, and then tomorrow I can do out of that being, right? I get to live and produce and create goodness and light out of a rested, content, secure identity in Christ. So that's where that like, I'm content for what is today and I'm going to speak it, I'm going to practice it, it's going to become mindset work for me every day, but that doesn't mean I'm going to like be lazy and slothful and not drive for tomorrow. No, I'm driven tomorrow. Because I'm going to take what God has given me today, I'm going to execute on that. I'm going to put it back in his hands and I'm going to go home to my family. Or if you work from home like I do some days, I'm going to put it on the shelf and I'll say, God, I trust you with this so that I don't have to have my hands and my mind full of all the other stuff as I start to bring my family back into this house and embrace them. May I have empty hands and an empty mind, which actually is trust with skin on, to then say, hey, boys, I'm so glad you're home. Tell me something about your day, right?
And the reconnection, maybe we have something we have to repair for from yesterday. It isn't always like rainbows and butterflies and good, right? Like actually most of the time it is like controlled chaos. That's not even like that word, right? But like, control is an illusion. Like it is chaos that we are attempting to bring peace into, right? And inviting them into a different way of living and being when they've come back into this home out of like living, you know, public school and all the stuff.
Jeff: Dan, this is so helpful. I'm curious right now in this moment of time, driven to growth tomorrow in the dad life, in your fatherhood game, what are some areas that you're attentive to right now that you want to grow tomorrow?
Dan: Intention is nothing without action, right? And I'm an incredibly, I have a very powerful brain when it comes to ideation and thinking, right? Walk, my challenge, my daily commitment that I need to commit to first is like walking the talk, right? And I got a call coming up with my group in a little bit and we're gonna talk about planning for 2026. Like we plan for our businesses. Like what does it mean to plan for our family?
How are we incorporating adventure into our family's schedule next year and service? Like where are we serving and meeting the felt needs of those in our community and around the world so our kids have proximity to poverty? Where are we having them become owning the contributions in the home? Chores, right? And then connection. Like how can we structure this? And I'm staring at my calendar behind my camera.
And my challenge right now is going, okay, I'm gonna get a date on the calendar for this weekend to start filling out 2026 with my family, not for my family, no, with them, so that we can start asking the questions like, what's your bucket list this year? What do you wanna do? And as they say that and they express their, like we would call them goals, but for them it's just like fun ideas.
And as they say these things, it starts to shape the decisions we make and like, where do we choose to travel? What kind of service things are we doing? How do we allow them to contribute? You know, like my one kid loves to shovel snow. Like I don't even have to ask him. It snows, he gets out there and he's out there for an hour and 20 minutes just going. And I'm like, okay, I see that and I love you and you keep doing that and I will not ask you to vacuum because that was a dang fight, you know? But like allowing their strengths and their weaknesses to inform how we build out this family culture with plan and intention and then action.
I guess that's the biggest area where I'm like, I have to create a time this weekend where we go, okay, Sunday night, we're all reconnecting after a weekend of hockey and let's talk about 2026. Where are we going? What are we doing? How are we like living and moving and having our being in a way that is gonna create the family culture that we want to sustain and maintain.
Jeff: Dan, I wanna one emphasize what you said about intent means nothing. And I've said this before, like it does not please God to be dads with intent. Action. Now it's wild though that when I asked you, are you trying to grow in tomorrow? I mapped out just two days ago on Monday, I mapped out our plan for the Monday, Tuesday, the last Monday and Tuesday of this calendar year, we're taking two days as a family to do the same. To cover our sliding glass door with Post-It notes, to look back, to look forward, dream.
But I love the four buckets. I think if I caught these right, ways you're gonna serve, adventures, I think you called it contribution, like this is ways we serve in our house. And then it was connection, was that the fourth? Did I get that right?
Dan: Yeah, and Connection's really covered with the Time Well Spent Method on the daily. But then there's also like, if your kids say things like, hey, I really wanted to go see this movie. Like our oldest loves to go see Marvel movies. And so it's like, okay, him and I will take a one-on-one and we'll go do that. So those are the other like kind of special connection moments that aren't daily, that get to be carved out and like put on the calendar so that when our kids see it, they're like, hey, this is coming, right?
Jeff: Yeah, but yeah, those are the four that we, the kind of the four buckets that we use to create intention.
I want to make sure before we say goodbye here to talk about sourdough bread. And because we've had twice during this conversation, timers going off and taking care of sourdough here, 1800 miles away. So we're in Northeast Florida, you're in Northwest Minnesota. We're making sourdough bread today as well. So this is fun. But there are parallels. Sometimes you take the abstract of the process of making a good loaf of sourdough bread with the dad life. And it just spurs on different portions of the brain to think, what are some of the parallels, of the insights for making sourdough bread that would apply to a dad?
Dan: I mean, for those of you who are out there and making it, you'll get it. For those that don't, it's not as hard as you think. But I think that's like, we can make it harder than it actually is. When we overthink and overanalyze and like even, we said earlier, control is an illusion, right? And so if we're trying to control every situation, making sourdough right now in Minnesota when it's 20 degrees outside and my house is 65 is different than in the summertime when it's 98 degrees outside and my house is 78 degrees. We can't always control the atmosphere. We can't control the things that our kids are struggling with. We cannot control how they are affected by the atmosphere, but we can control how we show up. So we control what we control, right?
Sometimes we try and shape it too much and it's like, the kids are like, all right. This is what I need to grow it.
If every moment is a teachable moment, I will teach them nothing.
And I have been teaching too much. Like I've been over shaping and stretching and hey, remember this and trying to carve off these rough edges. And that is not, I confess that that is not actually partnering with God and parenting my boys. Like he's the one that will convict. He's the one that will smooth the rough edges. So in what areas am I choosing? Like someone challenged me, call me out on this, like help me. I need help in staying accountable to not teaching every single moment. Just like letting it go and going, okay, God, I trust you. And I'm going to pray instead of open my big fat mouth and tell them why I'm right and they're wrong. I'm going to open my heart and say, God, teach them and convict me where I have blind spots. I think this is a blind spot for him. But if I say over and over and over and over and over, he's just going to get calloused.
Jeff: Yeah, Dan, I'm grateful. I'm actually salivating right now thinking of sourdough bread. I have one more parallel though. We've burnt many loaves. We're just like distracted. We don't hear the timer. We've burnt it. Yeah. And you pull the burnt loaf out and you think that's straight to the garbage, right? But what we've found is we, with laughter, can saw. It's almost like sawing. It's not cutting. You're sawing it open. And there is still, 90% of that loaf is still goodness, throw some butter on there. Like it is goodness still, but it takes a little bit of carving the burnt pieces away, right?
And this goes back to just kindness with ourselves, where we face plant, where we feel like, man, we overreacted. Like we can still laugh, we can still enjoy, there's still sweetness and it's not a throwaway. You're not. Just if that encourages any dad, like go make some sourdough bread and remember, it's different, don't control. And there's plenty of us.
We could do a whole episode on sourdough principles for fatherhood. Dan, I'm really grateful that you took time to join me today. And we're gonna link out in the description of this episode, all of the resources you've created, the opportunities for coaching, your podcast. So that'll all be out to the guys, but I want to invite you, would you pray a short prayer over all of us?
Dan: Yeah, yeah, thanks, man. God, you know our hearts, you know our kids' hearts. You've entrusted us with them for a time. And so we confess that at times we are selfish and self-seeking and trying to have control because we believe that by having control in all these areas that it'll create peace. But you teach us that peace comes from surrender. And so God, teach us every day to accept your morning mercies and to surrender our lives over to you so that we can live out of that place, identity, secure identity in who you say we are in Jesus.
So God, for the dads that are listening right now that are feeling the weight is too heavy, the burden is too much, that the gap between reality and perfection is just too wide, would you shine light and hope into his heart right now, knowing that he is the only one who is capable of fulfilling the fatherhood role that he's living. So help him to be empowered in that. Would you equip him in that, Lord? And would you unite him with other dads who are in the thick of it, who are celebrating together and struggling together in this journey of fatherhood? Have your way in our hearts. We pray this according to your name, your son Jesus' name. Amen.
[Closing]
Jeff: Thank you so much for joining us for episode 414 with Dan Tinquist. Hey, I'm praying that you guys take action on what you heard today, that you prayerfully are asking your heavenly father, what's the action step for me? So one more time, I wanna wish you guys a Merry Christmas. I wanna send you to dadawesome.org/podcast to get the show notes. Sometimes skimming back through the show notes is the best way to turn intent into action. Prayerfully skim through the show notes or the transcript saying, what's for me? God, what do you have for me to put into action? So go to dadawesome.org/podcast, look for 414 for that, and then one more time an invitation to join our DadAwesome Accelerator, our 11th cohort of the DadAwesome Accelerator, this six week sprint around all of the core discoveries from these eight years of this ministry. Head over to dadawesome.org/coaching to learn more and to prayerfully apply. Hey, I'm praying for you guys. Have an amazing week.
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"If every moment is a teachable moment, I will teach them nothing."
"Control is an illusion. It is chaos that we are attempting to bring peace into."
"We don't rest from our work. We work from our rest."
"His mercies are new every single morning. When's the last time you lived a perfect day?"
"I'm going to pray instead of open my big fat mouth and tell them why I'm right and they're wrong."
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