319 | Expressing Love, Thriving as Yourself, and Advancing Fatherless Young Men (Chad Wallen)
Episode Description
Chad Wallen helps teach fatherless young men practical tools that their dad could have taught them if he had been involved in their lives. It’s an active way of fighting against harrowing statistics and intervening in tangible, practical ways. Join us as Chad shares his thoughts on self-care, words of affirmation, and mentoring the next generation.
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Chad Wallen is a loving husband, foster parent, and dad to three girls and a son. He helped start Advance Camp in Oregon because he has such a huge heart for the fatherless. Now, Chad Wallen lives in the Dallas area and directs Advance Camp Texas.
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· You can’t be a good dad if you’re not a healthy version of yourself.
· Don’t make your wife translate your love to your children.
· Nationally, 75% of men incarcerated are from a fatherless home.
· What does it look like to mentor fatherless young men while providing opportunities to learn new skills, advance their careers, and build confidence?
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Podcast Intro: [00:00:01] Being a great father takes a massive amount of courage. Instead of being an amazing leader and a decent dad, I want to be an amazing dad and a decent leader. The oldest dad in the world gave you this assignment, which means you must be ready for it. As a dad, I get on my knees and I fight for my kids. Let us be those dads who stop the generational pass down of trauma. I want encounters with God where He teaches me what to do with my kids. I know I'm going to be an awesome dad because I'm gonna give it my all.
Chad Wallen: [00:00:39] I tell my guys all the time, you got two options to do with what you've been given. You can either get resentment out of it and carry that on, or you can learn from it and change that path for the future. And I've decided to change that path for the future that the next generation below me is going to get words of affirmation is going to get told that they're loved. They will get supported both verbally and physically support them through different challenges in life that I didn't get from my dad.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:01:07] Hey guys. Welcome back to DadAwesome. My name is Jeff Zaugg and today episode 319 I've got Chad Wallen from Advance Camp USA coming at you. Let me introduce him in just a moment here, but I want to share kind of a second installment. So I released a brand new opportunity for you guys last week at episode 318, and it's called the DadAwesome Accelerator Group. So this is the pilot, we've never done it before, ten spots only. So this is tricky because we have hundreds and thousands of dads with DadAwesome connected to our ministry, learning, being invited to, to step in with their whole hearts into this fatherhood journey. But we want to pilot a group for only ten of you. And I released kind of the overview last week, but it's a six week program where we're like, man, I'm all in for six weeks. I want to accelerate into this next chapter of being a dad, next chapter of intentional fatherhood. So we're going to, we're going to gather weekly, on zoom for 90 minutes. So that's what I talked about last week, is it's a, it's weekly gathering. The second part, though, there's kind of six promises that we're making to you guys. The second part is action planning. So instead of just being inspired, dads that are generally inspired, we're going to create weekly actionable roadmaps where we're actually writing down commitments to the group. This is what the ways that I'm going to step in this week from this topic, the weekly topic into actionable, man, I'm going to step in and grow in this way. I'm going to step in with my heart and pursue the hearts of my kids in this way. I'm going to step in with my calendar, with my intentionality. So, so there's more to come with that. But I wanted to invite you guys, pray about joining us. Pray about applying. You've only got five more weeks to join this because we're kicking off in in mid April. And what you need to do is send an email to awesome @dadawesome.org. So if you're even curious about the DadAwesome Accelerator Group, send an email to awesome@dad awesome.org. You'll get an immediate bounce back email that has a flyover of the information and a link to apply. So let's jump in this week's episode, Chad Wallen joining from Advance Camp USA, an amazing ministry that activates men to once a month or once a quarter, do day camps for fatherless young men. So so these camps are now held in four different states, and it's growing. But they're activating men to do something, in the area of mentorship and,bringing fathering to young men with real life on life skill. Man, it's so cool. And we're going to talk about it in this conversation. So this is episode 319, my conversation with Chad Wallen. And just a heads up, he's got three, three daughters and a son. They just adopted a little guy who's two, and they're also, they're foster parents. They've got another little one, on the home front. And they live in the Dallas, Texas area. And we're going to kind of jump right into him, kind of explaining his heart around intentional fatherhood. So here's my conversation with Chad Wallen. As kind of a back story as we're talking about being dads who pursue the hearts of our kids and experiencing the love of our Heavenly Father. I mean, that's all of our conversations come back to identity. I thought maybe we'd start there a little bit of like, man, this is this is what we get to experience is the love of a good, perfect God in heaven, our heavenly Father, that we get to bring that love to our kids. I know this is part of your passion and why you have stepped into loving your family, but also loving all these mentees and rallying people to help them be fathers for the fatherless. Would you talk a little bit of, though, about your journey as a son and what kind of, what kind of brought about this, this deep passion to help young men?
Chad Wallen: [00:05:06] So growing up, my dad worked in a lumber mill. He worked in there for 27 years. Commonly like, graveyard shifts or trying to think of the other, they had, like, super late night shifts. And so during the week itself, the school week, my dad was gone working. And I wrote a book about kind of all this kind of telling my story. And, you know, we go through, you know, this is no fault of my dad's, it's the fault of the generation prior to him of, hey, this is this is your role as a dad is to go provide. Not to love your kids, not to speak words of affirmation, not to show them to Jesus. It was to go work. Your job is to work. And so being raised in that environment, there's there's some fallout from it. And then from that fallout, it it manipulates, I word manipulates you into who you are today, right. And so back then I remember saying, man, I wish my dad was at my soccer games. Man, I wish my dad was here to help me with my homework. And it, no fault to him, he's working. He's trying to provide for the family and so he's gone every night during the week. And he was around on the weekends as long as it wasn't hunting or fishing season. Some, as we got older, we joined him on those trips, but, but still, he just he wasn't around during those and, you know, experience both sides of it. One with dad not around and then one with mom being frustrated with dad not being around. And both those things have adjusted me into who I am today with as a dad. Give you a great example is my wife has a tendency to hand me my fishing pole and say, get out of the house. And she's like, you need you time. And I can't allow myself to do that. I'm getting better at it, but I can't allow myself to do that because, growing up, my mom would complain that my dad went off fishing and left her with the kids. And so, that's been a transition in my life of saying, I can't be a good dad if I can't be healthy. And to be healthy, that sometimes means I need to go take some time for me. I need to re-energize myself. I need to have other people speak into my life. I, you know, all these different pieces, that I couldn't find a happy medium and I'm working at it. I mean, I've been married now for almost 12 years, and I, with kids, and, I'm working at it. It's getting better and better. But, man, that was a hard thing to learn is finding that happy medium between taking care of yourself and finding you as a priority and taking care of your family and finding them as a priority, realizing you can't be 100% dad if you're not 100% you. So working through that, and that's kind of been my big shift into, my life as a father now is trying to overcome some of those, this is what a dad's identity looks like is provide for the family. Speak to your son. But you're not, you're not telling him that you love him, that you proud of, any of that stuff. And I'm having to shift away from that, say, okay, no, no, those are important things as dads, like your kids, got to hear those things from you. You know, I didn't go into, like, what my family looks like, right now, but, just explain of why why this is important. I have three biological daughters, 10, 8, and 7. And then I have a foster son, sorry, a newly adopted son of about two months ago, that's two and a half. And I found it really, really easy to tell my girls I love you and I'm proud of you. And you look pretty and, you know, as a dad, I feel like it's easier, than it is to turn to a son that you're trying to create masculinity in. Like, what does it look like to be a godly man? And you're strong and you're a leader and hey, but I love you, and I'm proud of you. And so turning to my adoptive son and saying, hey, man, I love you. Like I do in bed time with him at night, I'll, we'll gradually get louder and louder every time I say I love you. And, and make sure that that's something intentional, because I personally didn't hear that til I was 19 years old. I can tell you exactly where I was, the temperature outside, where I was standing, what time of day. It's embedded in my head of when that happened, and I can tell exactly when it happened that my dad told me he was proud of me, and I was 39 years old. And so that that delay has, has, scarred me, but also formed me into who I am today of saying those things are, those who are important to me, and I didn't get them, so I'm going to, I'm going to make sure that that's not how I live my life as a dad.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:09:52] Yeah.
Chad Wallen: [00:09:53] So, you know, I tell my guys, we can, we'll go into the ministry side of it later, but I tell my guys all the time, you got two options to do with what you've been given. You can either get resentment out of it and carry that on, or you can learn from it and change that path for the future. And I've decided to change that path for the future that the next generation below me, is going to get words of affirmation, is going to get told that that they're loved. They will get, supported, both verbally and physically support them through different challenges in life, that that I didn't get, for my dad. But like I said, no fault to his. That was, unfortunately, the environment he was raised in, and that's what he learned how to do.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:10:38] A lot of a lot of dads don't have that perspective, though, of instead of the angry, resentful, you know, carry, you know, carry a grudge forward, you're saying, hey, that was the that's the environment he was in. His friends, his dad, you know, his, the past. So I'm going to take, so you're choosing to take pendulum swing towards what you know is the heart of our Heavenly Father, what you know good. Now sometimes I think we can pendulum swing out of anger or that resentment and into, actually, that's not healthy either. We're way over here on the other side. But you're like, you're like, almost blessing him in saying, no, I'm going to use my words. I'm going to encourage and and speak, speak love and speak, man, I'm proud of you. So I and I actually wanted to invite you that you said you can remember specifically the story when you were 39, like, I that can't be that long ago. You're not that, you're you're, how, what happened? Your dad said he was proud of you.
Chad Wallen: [00:11:41] Yeah, I was, so crazy thing is, we moved to Texas. I was, I was 39. And, is right after I turned 39 and I was here getting everything kind of going for our ministry. And we're about three months deep into the ministry when, I pretty sure I just told them, hey, this is where we're at, and we're looking at launching in these other states. It's kind of where things are going. These are the young men that we're we're working with. This is the activity we just did. And he's a fisherman and hunter, hunter. And so I was like, I, I think we probably did fishing or something recently. And so this is what I did with these young men. And, and he's, he it was a text message. I don't, verbally is a whole another deal. I've got more out of him with text message than I have with, and he's 70, he's 74. He's 30 years older than I am, almost exactly. And, and he's, he's sent back that he was proud of me. I'm like, I almost wanted to text back, Hey, wait, did mom said this or did you send this? I was like, I'll embrace the moment. Just accept the fact that it was him. But, but, yeah, so, that's, that's when he told me I was sitting out on my front porch, here in Granbury, Texas, and, just kind of updating my dad on what, what we'd be doing. And it was just a hustle, you know, trying to get all these things done. And, hey, dad, this is what we just did. And I just remember coming back and being like, man, I really just, like, it's taken 39 years for that to come out of your mouth. But hey, man, I'll take it. But realize it would have been nice, you know, you know, 30 years ago, you know. Yeah.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:13:12] Speaking of years before, though, the story that you also remember, you said you remembered the weather when he said that he loved you the first time when you were, was it 18, 19, somewhere in there?
Chad Wallen: [00:13:21] 19.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:13:22] Yeah, yeah. What happened in that moment?
Chad Wallen: [00:13:25] Yeah. So I was actually living in Central Oregon. I moved out to Bend, Oregon. We lived at a brown house. I still remember, brown house, a wood, like, a wood walkway. You'd come up to the garage, park there, and you had to walk down a wood walkway and then walk to the front door. And I'm outside talking to him on the phone. It was a cold night. Like a fall, cold night. It was dark outside, and I was on the phone. I don't remember what we were talking about. Like, because like, that was literally the only thing I heard that whole conversation. But yeah, it was nighttime. I saw lots of stars. It was a nice, cool evening. And he said he loved me. I'm like, man, if I wasn't on the phone with him, talking to him, it would have been that same thought, of like because I heard it from my mom all the time. But I would have been like, is that really you, dad? Or is this mom texting you on, on your phone or texting me on your phone? So, but yeah, I mean, I remember the weather, it was like, I can still picture myself there. It was that impactful.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:14:26] So the reason I asked specifics about those two stories is we we have the opportunity, the two of us, every dad listening to, just keep like, like to, with a, with a large shovel, just like, like fill that love tank with with our words, with our notes, with our eyes, with our, like, we can just shovel love, in, in generous quantities, on our kids and make sure that that's never part of their story is a lack of the words of love from my dad. Like it's a such a tangible, such a like, of course, that's something we can do. But, if we don't actually pause and purpose that, I'm going to live with my words and I'm going around specifics to, I'm going to use specifics like I love like I'm going to add an affirmation about something specifically that happened to my kids. I was going to ask you with your, with your four kids, and I know you've also got another little six month old foster baby, so you got five on the home front right now. What are, what are some, I think you shared the one example about with your your little guy back and forth, I love you, louder, louder, louder, I love you. Any other, just like rhythms of the day, times you use your words, or ways that you're able to kind of, bring kind of the opposite that was modeled for you to your kids?
Chad Wallen: [00:15:51] Yeah. So I'm the one that gets the kids up in the morning. So, we always start, you know, I wake him up in the morning. Ask him how they slept. Check in on them. Help getting them ready for, for the day. I think that's a great opportunity to either destroy their day or to start it off on a really good place, right. And so, that's when my softest tones are spoken. And, most good words of affirmation are spoken, you know, complimenting their outfits or whatever. You know, they're little girls, right. So they're, they're trying to look pretty. And sometimes you're like, that outfit is a train wreck, you look great. You know, I got one, my youngest daughter is 7, and she is the most eclectic, like, she'll wear stripes with polka dots and neons, right. And I look out like, that's rad. Like, I'm totally, I'm totally good with that. Like, you can wear that to school. My wife's like, oh, that's like, let her have it, man. She's owning it. Like that's, that's awesome. And so opportunities to just really speak into the life at the beginning of the day. So I think that sets the stage, right. That's probably where I do the most. And then, the second most is when they step off the bus. You know, with, with my job running the ministry, my hours are super flexible when I'm at home. When I'm gone, I'm gone, you know. But when I'm home, I'm the one that gets them ready for school. I'm the one that gets them from the bus. I get dinner ready, and, and so that time with them, after they get off the bus of checking in how the school day was, and then their frustrations that they had at school and walk them through those and know that I'm there to listen to them and, you know, so that's probably the second most impactful part of the day of how I'm using my words. But I got, I will piggyback on that one thing that I picked up from my mom growing up about my dad. Is my mom used to tell me all the time, well, you know, your dad loves you. Well, he told me last night that he love you, and he's, like, really proud of you. Well, he you know, he cares about you, that's why I did this for you. Well, I don't need my wife translating for me. These words need to come out of my mouth. And it's hard. Like, sometimes I have to pep talk myself, but, but I know that's my role is to speak my words, not to have my wife speak my words for me. So that's one thing I, you know, I have constantly worked on with myself is making sure my words are my words and my wife is not my translator.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:18:31] Yes. Great. Great just, transferable bit of dad wisdom there. Chad, thank you for that encouragement.
Chad Wallen: [00:18:40] It holds me accountable all the time.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:18:42] Yeah. So what, speaking of, just giving yourself a pep talk or this year, 2024. What are, you know, maybe a couple areas that you want to grow in, you want to add more intentionality in the dad life? Are there some areas that you're like, no, I actually want to step into this area with more purposefulness or that area, any anything type of top of mind that you're thinking, praying on stepping into this year?
Chad Wallen: [00:19:06] I think my biggest focus for this year, for myself, and this is something that's kind of been building up out of the tail end of last year is, more patience. I even, last night, maybe it's this morning, I even told the girls, like I'm starting to lose my patience. I need to communicate with you, that I'm starting to lose my patience and I don't want to get to a higher volume. I want to be heard the first time, you know. And so I'm, their old enough, my two and a half year old, he doesn't always get it, but the girls are old enough to understand, okay, we were pushing dad too far. Like, you know, yes you need, you need shoes on to go to school. I understand you can't find the blue ones. Find a different pair and have that patience like I had to, I had to bite my tongue and I helped her look for them versus losing my mind. I'm like, girl, you have so many pairs of shoes. Just find a pair of shoes, you know. And so that's been the big thing I'm having to constantly remind myself is bring down volume, bring up patience. That's been like, that's that's my intentionality this year is stepping into that realm, I guess.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:20:22] Yeah. Yeah. That's, boy, that's a theme that I know all of us could turn that dial, but that's great to know. That's the area of focus. How about learning? We all, as dads want to continue to learn and grow. It could be from maybe something from a friend, a mentor, a book. Just somehow you were, you received some nudge of like, hey, I want to keep growing, learning. Is there any areas or people that you're specifically learning from as a, as a dad?
Chad Wallen: [00:20:49] Who I've actually been gleaning most of my learning from lately, is I try to go to the gym every morning, I throw on a podcast and, I've been listening to Craig Groeschel's, it's his leadership podcast. Which is neat because it's heavy leadership. He slides in Scripture, he slides in his beliefs. But it's really aimed towards the business world, but as a Godly man. And, I mean, there's a lot of stuff he says that can apply to dad life as well. He doesn't necessarily say it, but when, when you're the leader of the home, these things apply as well, you know.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:21:29] So true.
Chad Wallen: [00:21:30] There's one he is talking about the no snooze. And I've lived with that for quite a while. I went through a season of hitting snooze, and I was like, man, I can see why my wife does this. But then I moved out, I moved out pretty quick. I don't know why the snooze button bugs me so much, but it does. So I mean, my alarm goes off and I'm out of bed. And, so I've been listening to Craig Groeschel and Donald Miller are the two that I've been, I've been listening to. It's been very business focused. But business/faith focused. How do you balance those two in, in our world of ministry?
Jeff Zaugg: [00:22:07] So I had a mountain of dishes that needed to be washed, just like two weeks ago. And I listened to the 2023 recap episode from Craig Groeschel that was like, like six of the top most impactful segments from the whole year 2023. And I was like, mind blown. I was like, like vocally responding to like, oh my goodness, I needed this. Oh my goodness. So we'll link that in the show notes as just a sampling if guys haven't listened to, that podcast. Thanks for bringing it up, as far as leadership and we are leaders and dads as just a, just a little bit here, like, leaders are readers and you can read through your earbuds or read through a page, but like, let's let's make sure we're growing and you can grow in the leadership at the business sphere and take applicable principles right into the dad life. But we just have to keep growing. We can't settle. So, I love that you answered that question with that direction. Well, let's talk about, a passion, sparking, actually launching a movement, Advance Camp USA, like the work that you have launched in, in the Northwest, in Oregon and then taken to Texas, then into Tennessee and into Florida. And the way you're rallying men around these, these day camps for kids that don't have dads. When I first heard about it, I knew I want to learn more. I want to eventually be a part of doing something at the local chapter. But I also want to make sure our DadAwesome, our DadAwesome, man, that we know about what you're doing and we're cheering you on and supporting. So, yeah, go back to the Genesis moment though. Tell us a little bit about where did this idea come from?
Chad Wallen: [00:23:45] Oh, man. There's a few pieces of it. So one of them is after my dad left the sawmill, it actually got closed down. I remember going home after moving out and seeing my dad and he was smiling, and I remember looking, I said, what are you smiling about? Like you lost your job. They closed down the mill like, 27 years there. He goes, best day of my life is the day I got laid off. I hated that job and I only did it to provide for the family. I'm like, okay, once again, my dad, a lot of times said, I love you through actions versus saying it. And I was like 27 years in a crummy job just to provide for his family. Like, that's a good way of showing. So, anyhow, he leaves that job and becomes a corrections officer at a state penitentiary in Oregon. And I remember him telling me that in his prison specifically, this is not all of them nationally, but in his prison specifically, it was like 95% of his men, the men in that prison, were raised in fatherless or father disengaged homes. And, man, that was a punch to the gut. Like, that's messed up. Like, that's just, that's just bluntly messed up. So that kind of settled into my heart. And then, my wife and I actually met on a business trip to Thailand. She's from Beaverton, Oregon. I was from Dallas, Oregon. And, we went with a church from Tigard, Oregon, over to Thailand, and it was to work with children that were at risk of being sold into the sex trade. So the guy who started this went through, and he wrote his thesis, college thesis statement on this and said, what puts people at risk, these kids at risk to be sold in sex trade. And they this is a factor and this is a factor and this is the factor and this is a factor. And then so what we do is we step in and we say we're going to take this factor out. We're going to take this factor out. We're going to take this factor out. So they don't go down the path of sex trade. And I said, what do we think about doing something that would, not somebody send somebody down the path of incarceration. Like what puts them at risk? Well, fatherlessness is the number one reason. 75% nationally, 75% of men incarcerated nationally are from a fatherless home. 85 or 90% of youth, so you know, not adults, so adult men 18 and older, all those 75%. But youth it's like 85 or 90%. I just recently heard the stat, I'm like, this is insane. Well, at least they're recovering, you know, 10% ish, right. 10% are, hey, I made a dumb choice as a young, dumb kid, without a dad in the home, okay, I'm cleaning up. 75% continued on the path, you know. Or, you know, everybody else continued on the path, 10% were saved. And I said, okay, what puts them on path, fatherlessness. How do you get them out of this path? Okay, well, you got to speak into their lives. You got to break their identity with their father. You got to give them something to do. You got to give them a career. You got to affirm them and speak love into their life. And you got to show to who their Heavenly Father is because their earthly fathers drop the ball. Like, what are we doing? So I looked to see, what puts them at risk? How do you take them out of that risk? And these are the pathways to do it. So, that was kind of a base is I kind of took this guy's idea of what does it look like to take out the high risk places and add in opportunity or pathways to stay out of out of those, bad situations.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:27:29] Wow. So that that place of need and idea of we can do something here, led to how did the, how did the first camp get off the ground?
Chad Wallen: [00:27:39] So first camp was in Texas. First one under us. It actually, me and another guy started one in Oregon as, just activity in a ministry. So the ministry is already functioning, 5o1c3. Doing its own nonprofit things. And says, hey, let's do an activity for the the young men that live on site here. And so that was really started out as what can we teach them that would minimize embarrassment on a Monday morning when they go back to school? You know, my dad taught me how to work on a car and change the oil. My dad took me fishing. My dad went on a hike with me. My dad went camping with me, and we sat around the fire pit and had marshmallows. We said, okay, let's give him these experiences. So on Monday morning, their buddy says, I went fishing with my dad. They're like, yeah, I did that too. I, I did it with some, some, some guys from church or whatever it was, right, so they could. And then I said, okay, well, we we need to take this a step further. And why are we not teaching them things that can actually project them into a career path? And so that's, that's kind of that shift of, of where we went.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:28:41] And now this became, in Texas, a, a monthly gathering with, like 1 to, is it 1 to 1 or is it one mentor for every two mentees? What's the ratio?
Chad Wallen: [00:28:53] Yeah, it's a 1 to 2, is what my goal is. So yeah, it's 1 to 2 ratio-ish. It fluctuates. But it's a day camp. We take them out, we teach them whatever it is, and we try to teach them on site. So we teach automotive, we'll teach at an auto shop. We teach blacksmithing, we do at a blacksmithing shop. We teach bicycle changing repair, we do a bike shop. And so that they can learn these trades actually in the environment so they can say, man, that was awesome. I love that, I want to do that for a living. And they'll say, that's the environment I'm gonna be working in. So it can kind of familiarize themselves with it. But, it's also made us very lean and mean. So we are totally mobile, so we don't own any property, we don't own any buildings. We're not paying insurance or taxes or, payments or anything like that on it. And we can, we can be a lot more lean and mean. That's what's allowed us really to multiply like we have.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:29:47] Which is amazing because you proof of concept, it's happening. It's working. And then you went back into Oregon and then into Tennessee and then into, Fort Lauderdale, Florida area. Like, I love hearing stories. And I got to meet with your leader up in Portland, when I was up there. I got to hear stories of a fishing trip, out in the ocean and teaching and sending them home with a rod and tackle box, and, so, so the concept makes a ton of sense where you find, folks connected with single moms. It's, there's a need, a direct need. This, the moms sign up their, their sons to go be a part of this, with this team of mentors that you recruit and train, and then you have a skill leader, I love that side as well, that you find someone, the electrician or the plumber or the automotive expert or the fishing expert that has the boat, right. You find a skill and I should let you explain versus me explain, but I just I'm so excited about you do.
Chad Wallen: [00:30:41] No I love it. You got it, you got it dialed. You're doing good. Actually, here, you can have my hat.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:30:45] Yeah, exactly. And I do love your brand as well. How you just like, advance, like you're advancing careers, confidence. I could go on and on and do your elevator pitch for you, but, like, of these young men. And with a moment, and it doesn't even some of the new launch sites aren't even every single month. It's like once a quarter. Is that correct?
Chad Wallen: [00:31:05] Correct. Yeah. Yeah. So we've had to start, a little bit slower as we build, leadership in those states. So we started, Florida as once a quarter and we shifted to every other month. So we're every other month in South Florida now. Tennessee is once a quarter. Oregon is once a quarter. And then we do an annual one, in Georgia, paired with a single moms ministry just north of Atlanta. So that's a perfect example of our mobility. So she caught, we got connected, she has this incredible single mom's ministry up there in Woodstock. And, she contacted me and she goes, man, we do a mom and man event every year. This last one was not quite as good as I wanted. The guys weren't really engaged. I love what you're doing. Is that's something you can handle? I said, oh, yeah, I can do, I gave her, like, a list of of trades and topics we can teach, that are flyable, like I've built some that are flyable. Like I can fly from here to Oregon, teach it in Oregon, fly back down to South Florida, teach it there, fly back. And so I said, no problem. Like, we can, I can go teach all this stuff, mobily at at your location. So I literally, I brought guys in from Oregon, Florida, Tennessee and Texas. We had like eight of us that came out to Georgia, and we taught the camp to 21 or 22, 8 to 18 year olds, in like four hours. It was like drinking through a fire hose and it was amazing. But we're built so lean and mean that we can do it. But we have the resources in these states that we can just bring it all together. It's pretty rad.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:32:42] There's, there's a lot of dads that have little kids, that have careers, that are already maybe serving the local church in some capacity that are coaching a sports team. It's just so easy to say I don't have capacity to be a part of the change, the solution, and what I just applaud and cheer on and the reason I pray for you, Chad, and your team is like you're an example of someone who said, I see a need and this is an upstream need. Like we can make a change here before the results of these young men choose this path that is statistically the direction they're, you know, many of them will head. And they're are, by the way, single moms, rock star, like amazing. Like when God smiles down on people, I think single moms, he's just like, man, like there's like love. And I'm so grateful for single moms and some absolutely those kids go a different, different path. But but the role of the dad is needed. And I just want to just highlight some of the areas that what you have started is changing the lives of these, these young men who have come and participate and learn and are inspired and have words spoken over them and get experiences that are outside the norm so that there's them who are in church, the moms, their lives are changed because now their boys can return with a different level of courage and skill. And, from baking, I think cooking was one of them. I heard stories about, these boys are turning, making meals for the family. Like, I love that. Yard work skills with yard work that are just practical washing vehicles. I mean, I could go on and on, but then, so there's the moms that are impacted. The communities, we know, communities are impacted, at a higher level. The schools, the communities, when when again, young men have purpose in a positive direction. But the the mentors lives are changed, too, because a mentor steps in and, they return home a different kind of dad. They return back to work a different, you know, changed. We're changed when we invest in things that matter and that are at the center of God's heart. So there's, what you've activated is it, there's so many layers of impact. And I actually hope you talk about flying and portability of your model. I hope that some DadAwesome listeners, people in our community, even contact you in fly to help be an extra mentor so you can be at that, 1 to 2 ratio, like literally fly down and say, I'll come help for one of these Saturdays. So that's that's my hope. And then who knows, maybe it'll go way beyond that to starting new chapters at some point. But, that's that's my heart. You can just hear it. Why I'm so passionate about what you're doing. What else would you add to kind of encourage, the members of our community, at DadAwesome, that are just being inspired right now. How would you encourage them to take a next step?
Chad Wallen: [00:35:13] So one thing I get challenged on a lot, and this is something I speak against often, is, oh, I can't do it. I don't have all these skills that you teach. Like we have 26 curriculums written, different topics, everything you know, from, you know, blacksmithing to welding to automotive to lawn care, small engine repair, leatherwork, guitars, 3D printing. And men are like, whoa, whoa, whoa, I, I don't know any of that stuff. Like my dad never taught me or that was never a thing back then, like 3D printing. You go to a 70 year old and they're like, dude, all right, guy, you lost me, right. And so they're like, I, I don't have anything to offer. And they are dead wrong. I personally seek out the mentors that don't know anything. I seek out the guys that show up saying, all right, Lord, I'm yours. What do you got? Because those are the most powerful ones. Perfect example in Oregon, when we originally launched, I had a guy come, come into camp that was 65 years old, and, we're doing fishing, and he pulls me aside and he goes, Chad, I don't know how I'm gonna help on this camp. I said, Okay, well, why is that? He goes, I've never fished before, my dad never taught me how to fish. I'm like, okay, cool. This is gonna be great. He's like, what do you mean great? I can't teach anything. I don't know how to fish. I said, yeah, but you're going to learn next to a 13 year old. And and what's going to happen is he's going to he's not just normalized now, now he's advanced. He's like I'm learning at 13 where he learned at 65. I'm 52 years ahead of him on learning how to fish. So that's one part of it. That's just, that's just part of it. The other part of it is, is we do a lot of caught not taught. So, people always give me a hard time, well, why don't you teach your guys how to shake your hand? I said, well, we don't teach them, we show them. They come out of their mom's car, they come up to us, we shake their hand. Eye contact, shake their hand. So fishing, welding, it's all the same. If they, if they watch you and you've never done that before, they're going to watch, how do you react to failure? How do you react to learning? How do you react to asking questions? How do you react to becoming better? How do you handle something that you don't know how to do? Do you kick it aside and say, I'm not going to do it. I've never done it before. Or do you embrace and be like, you know what, I want to learn how to do this. This is really cool. You know, I said what's, I actually told my I said, what's going to happen when you break off a fish or you forget how to tie the knot, or you don't catch anything at all? Like your response to that situation, that guy is going to be watching every second of it, and he's going to glean from you what it looks like to be a Godly man. And how do you handle yourself. Like man that's way more powerful than a jack of all trades that wants to speak into every situation and thinks he knows all the things, and the young men are going to be like, all right, there's John. He knows everything again. Great. You know.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:38:13] Yeah, there's humility in the, I'm here to serve. I'm here to learn. I'm here to model. That that we all need to actually versus avoid. It's so easy, actually, as a 42 year old dad, husband, man, for me to avoid situations are going to make me feel, excuse me, vulnerable or inadequate or, like, I'm going to stumble. I mean, a chainsaw is a great example. You have a story that I heard you tell somewhere else about a chainsaw. I'm like, I actually, as a as a boy, I messed up my dad's chainsaw. I put the wrong fuel in. In my mind, 50 to 1 gas. If it's got a spot for oil, it shouldn't be 50 to 1 gas. It should be normal. But that oil was the chain lube and I, so I messed it up. And like I'm still a little bit like nervous around chainsaws that I'm going to mess something up or the blade is going to come off or like this or that, and but it's good for me to step into these areas like, like auto mechanic stuff that I just really haven't done much, working on cars. It's good for the soul to actually step in alongside of other men and mentees. And so I love that layer. And actually that's a challenge for all of us. We can all take a step, that takes courage, into areas, frontiers that are, maybe uncomfortable. Maybe if you're not used to skeet shooting, maybe you should go shooting with some friends, because it could be good for your soul to go do that as a man, right/ I mean, there's so many categories like that. Chad, I want to ask you, how has what you've learned from these other mentors, from the mentees, from the single moms, from launching this ministry Advance Camp, how how has it changed you as a husband, a father? How have you been impacted by this journey?
Chad Wallen: [00:39:52] I think one of the biggest things is, I use this saying all the time, is you find time for what's important to you. And so, it's created a priority in my life of when I'm home, I am 100% intentional of being home. And when I'm, when I'm out, I, I connect as best as possible. But I'm also, when I'm with those campers or I'm with those other men that I'm a 100% intentional with those those mentors or those young men. And so it's created, it's created this intentionality of being present. So that's one of the big things it's taught me. And then the other thing it's taught me is, I got a lot to learn still. You know, like, man, I just met with one of my guys here in Texas, and we were trying to do a gala and do some fundraising and trying to figure out, like, how are we going to, you know, what, what's our budget look like this year? And he kept well, what do you want to do here? I was like, I don't know. What do you want to do here? I don't know. Like I'm like, I'm 44 years old and I feel like I still have so much to learn about, so many different things. And so it kept, kept me pretty humble. I, I still, like you said earlier, leaders are readers. Like, I, I love to learn. So it's fitting for me, but, I know that's not always easy for everybody, but for me, it's like, all right, I, I don't know and I'm going to go find out how to do that. So this is really this ministry is really pushing me into that.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:41:19] Just watching you over the last year here from from afar. And then we got to hang out a little bit when I was through Texas doing the cross country RV trip. The watching you fills me with more courage. Chad, watching you step in and leading and figuring things out and then taking on, a new domain of, hey, I'm going to now solve this. And then and then even hanging out with guys who you lead, who you have empowered has, really encouraged me, and I, I'm filled with, like, hope for more collaboration between DadAwesone, Fathers for the Fatherless, Advanced Camps. So, so I'm so thankful for today's conversation and just having you on. Is there any kind of last words, parting words, anything that we didn't cover that you wanted to share with, with the guys listening?
Chad Wallen: [00:42:04] The power of presence, just like the Holy Spirit, power of presence. Like when when you compare it to the Holy Spirit, like He's right there. Yeah. Like the presence. It's like your presence isn't floating around to somebody else, it is right there with who you're with. The power of presence, just like the Holy Spirit. That's what we need to be for these young men. That's what we need to be for people around us. Our kids like, man, my kids need that right now.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:42:30] Yeah, we could miss as dads, we can miss it on a lot of different levels. But if we, if we showed up with and really understood the power of our presence, and we were present in those moments with our kids and they felt that we, we're thankful to be right there in that moment and present with them. We got that part right, it's going to make up for so many of the other areas. We're, we are modeling. We're the closest representation to our kids, what does God's love feel like? What is God like? Well, they're looking for dad, they're looking to dad. And, and if they could at least answer and say, well, present, like right here with me. Delighted to be with me. Here, available like all that that ties with presence. So thank you for that encouragement. I'd love to invite you, Chad, just to pray over all of us.
Chad Wallen: [00:43:17] God, man, I just want to come to You, today, and lift up this podcast. Lord I just pray that it falls on the ears that need to hear it. Not just this episode, but Lord, the whole thing. And DadAwesome in general. Lord, I know that his, his move right now across the nation of reaching more dads, impacting more kids lives through dads. And I just, I ache for that. I would love that, his ministry grows and the fatherless ministry dies because dads are stepping in. So, Lord, I just pray that you ignite those dads that are hearing this, that they're stepping into their kids lives. They're being intentional, their being present, and that they're turning to You for that, that direction and wisdom. Lord, I know I have to turn to You often of, receiving Your direction of wisdom and I just know how important that is. So I just, I just pray that over all the listeners today. If there's any single moms that are listening to this podcast, and trying to fill in that, those dad parts, that they are encouraged that there are men out there that do want to speak in their, their sons lives, their daughters lives. So I just, I lift them up today to You, as well Lord. Thank you for this time. I just pray that is blessed. It just multiplies tremendously. Just pray this in your Son's name. Amen.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:44:48] Thank you so much for joining us for episode 319 with Chad Wallen. I want to encourage you guys to check out the ministry Advance Camp USA. That's all going to be linked at the show notes for today's conversation or write it in your podcast player at dadawesome.org/podcast. Also want to remind you guys DadAwesome, we continue to reach more dads to encourage more dads to activate, more dads to lead with wonder through introductions, through you guys texting a couple other dads saying, check out dadawesome.org. Check out this podcast, DadAwesome. So I want to encourage you guys, spread the word a couple text messages to other dads. You could also certainly share on Instagram or Facebook kind of promote that way, but it matters. It really matters when you guys share this resource with other dads. So I want to thank you in advance for sharing the love, passing this forward to other dads. I, as a dad of a four year old and one year old, no one had ever passed me any kind of a resource to help me in this journey of intentional fatherhood. And that's when I started DadAwesome. So that was my story. Four years of dad life. No one ever passed along an intentional resource, a helpful resource for me to pursue the hearts of my my kids. So thanks for being that kind of dad. Have a great week, guys.
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· 7:42 - "That was a hard thing to learn is finding that happy medium between taking care of yourself and finding you as a priority and taking care of your family and finding them as a priority, realizing you can't be 100% dad if you're not 100% you."
· 17:52 - "My mom used to tell me all the time your dad loves you. He told me last night that he loves you and he's really proud of you. Well, I don't need my wife translating for me. These words need to come out of my mouth. And it's hard. Sometimes I have to pep talk myself but I know that's my role is to speak my words, not to have my wife speak my words for me. That's one thing I have constantly worked on with myself is making sure my words are my words and my wife is not my translator."
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